UnixSage

SLMR Taglines

1500 taglines for the off- line mail reader SLMR!

  • Eschew obfuscation!
  • Not now … I have to go mow the laundry.
  • I think … therefore I am overqualified.
    • 8 :-) User is a wizard.
  • Before advising Be yourself! reassess his character.
  • God said, Let Newton be! and all was light. Pope
  • Damn your Once more for old times sake..
  • You tell ‘em Cucumber, I’ve been pickled.
  • You tell ‘em cabbage, You’ve got the head.
  • You tell ‘em Dough, You’re well bred.
  • You tell ‘em Clock, You’ve got the time.
  • You tell ‘em Church Bell, I told you.
  • You tell ‘em Cigarette, You’re lit up.
  • You tell ‘em Custard Pie, You’ve got the crust.
  • You tell ‘em Hard-Boiled Egg, You’re hard to beat.
  • You tell ‘em Gambler, You’ve got winning ways.
  • You tell ‘em Doctor, You’ve got the patience.
  • You tell ‘em Dictionary, You’re full of information.
  • You tell ‘em Dentist, You’ve got the pull.
  • You tell ‘em Goldfish, You’ve been around the globe.
  • You tell ‘em Envelope, You’re well posted.
  • You tell ‘em Butcher, You’ve got a lot of tongue.
  • You tell ‘em Chloroform, You can put them to sleep.
  • You tell ‘em Hunter, I’m game.
  • You tell ‘em Cashier, I’m a poor teller.
  • You tell ‘em Bean, He’s stringing you.
  • You tell ‘em, Bald Head, You’re smooth.
  • You tell ‘em Bank, You’re safe.
  • You tell ‘em Banana, You’ve been skinned.
  • You tell ‘em Horse, You carry a tale.
  • You tell ‘em Brake, You’ve got the drag.
  • You tell ‘em Cat, That’s what you’re fur.
  • You tell ‘em Electricity, You can shock ‘em.
  • You tell ‘em calendar, You’ve got lots of dates.
  • You tell ‘em Cemetery, You are so grave.
  • You tell ‘em Manicurist, I’ve been trimmed.
  • You tell ‘em Simon, I’ll Legree.
  • You tell ‘em teacher, You’ve got the class.
  • You tell ‘em Owl, You’re wise.
  • You tell ‘em June, And don’t July.
  • You tell ‘em Skyscraper, You have more than one story.
  • You tell ‘em Printer, I’m not your type.
  • You tell ‘em Railroad, It’s not along my line.
  • You tell ‘em playing cards, You know the joker.
  • You tell ‘em September Morn, No one has anything on you.
  • You tell ‘em Piano, You’re upright and square.
  • You tell ‘em Shoemaker, You know awl.
  • You tell ‘em Operator, You’ve got their number.
  • You tell ‘em Mountain, I’m only a bluff.
  • You tell ‘em Submarine, I can’t seaplane.
  • You tell ‘em Moon, You’re out all night.
  • (A)bort (R)etry (I)nfluence with large hammer.
  • (A)bort, (R)etry, (S)mack the @#$&*~ thing!
    • <|-) User is Chinese.
  • Luxury: Costs $7.69 to make and $20.00 to market.
    • :-* User just ate something sour.
  • Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue …
  • One person’s <grin> is another’s <groan>.
  • <tap> <tap> <tap> Is this thing on?
  • Philosophic enjoyment = mutual misunderstanding.
  • Spaghetti code = job security.
  • Be right & fear no man.Don’t write & fear no woman
  • 2 x 4 bbs - a basic board.
  • Buy a 486-33 you can reboot faster..
  • 10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… (Bo Dereck getting older)
    • :-9 User is licking his/her lips.
  • Dachshund: Half a dog high by a dog and a half long.
  • There isn’t a door which can stop a lover or a cat
  • Reality: Only a concept and the home of the brave.
  • Is evil a child of the nature or the nurture?
  • Judge not a carpenter on how fast chips fly.
  • Today is a day for making firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?
  • Each day a day goes by.
  • I lost a button hole today.
  • Fishing is a delusion surrounded by liars in old clothes.
  • I had a dislocated funny bone, <OUCH> but it’s better now
  • A book, a friend, a song, a glass, a chaste loving lass
  • Freedom is a hard-bought thing - A gift no man can give.
  • That’s not a bug, that’s a feature.
  • Life has a great deal up its sleeve.
  • Epitaph on a gravestone: Cheerio, see you soon.
  • Dancing with a grass widow brings on hay fever.
  • Evil is a hill. We stand on ours, speak about others.
  • It’s only a hobby … only a hobby … only a.
  • Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
  • To be a human without passion is to be dead.
  • Fishing rod: a hook at one end, a fool at the other.
  • This is a brag line?????
  • America is a dream to most of the world.
  • Nobody has a good enough memory to make an excellent liar
  • Everyone is a genius at least once a year.
  • Security is a game but the final goal is never reached.
  • To be a Californian means to have faults others don’t.
  • I know a good tag line when I steal one.
  • Monotheism is a gift from the gods!
  • Money is a good servant but a bad master.
  • This is a good day to let down old friends who need help.
  • NOW is a point in time that is already gone.
  • Life is a kind of trick.
  • Everything’s got a moral if only you can find it.
  • That was a pointing device? My cat thought it was dinner.
  • Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast
  • To climb a ladder, you begin with the first rung.
  • Morality is a private and costly luxury.
  • None but a mule denies his family.
  • Tact: Recalling a lady’s birthday but forgetting her age.
  • What is a lie but the truth in masquerade. Byron
  • Just got a new car for my wife..
  • He says a thousand pleasant things, but never Adieu.
  • A man’s a man for a’ that! Burns
  • Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist! *
  • It was a night like this, 40 million years ago.
  • Theater: Holding a mirror up to a keyhole.
  • Let’s have a little fun, let’s do a pun.
  • Man is a piece of the universe made alive. Emerson
  • Fame: Chiefly a matter of dying at the right moment.
  • Civilization is a movement, it is a voyage not a harbor.
  • What’s in a name, anyway? Everything!!!!!!
  • Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.
  • Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.
  • He is a self-made man, and worships his creator.
  • There is a skeleton in every old house.
  • It is a sin peculiar to people to hate their victims.
  • He is a sheep in sheep’s clothing.
  • Don’t be a snob. Never lie when truth is more profitable.
  • Never trust a skinny cook.
  • Isn’t there a statute of limitations on stupidity?
  • Why would a wood chuck want to chuck wood anyway?
  • Language is a virus from outer space.
  • America is a tune. It must be sung together.
  • Life is a tragedy for feelers and a comedy for thinkers.
  • A pest: A friend in need.
  • True Terror: A female Klingon with PMS.
  • The World: A comedy for thinkers; a tragedy for feelers.
  • Happy couple: A deaf husband and a blind wife.
  • An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
  • All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
  • Behind an able man, there are always other able men.
  • Beam me aboard, Scotty. Sure. Will a 2x10 do?
  • I wish Adam had died with all his ribs in his body.
  • We ask advice but we mean approbation.
  • Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it.
  • Manuals out, after all possible keystrokes have failed.
  • At all ages you are certain you still have another year.
  • A yer ago I kudnt spel progrmer now I are won.
  • If it ain’t borken, don’t fix it.
  • My mind ain’t so open that anything can crawl right in.
  • Society like air, is necessary but not complete for life.
  • Look at all the Indians! - General Custer
  • Since we all move so slow, why is it called rush hour?
  • Moderation in all things should be practiced sparingly.
  • Love conquers all things except poverty and toothaches.
  • Genealogy: It’s all relative in the end anyway!
  • 43% of all statistics are totally worthless !!!
  • We are all related…relatively speaking
  • Let art alone. She’s got enough guys sleeping with her.
  • One lie always leads to another.
  • You can always make room for one more. Except a new baby.
  • The sun always rises on the most tired people.
  • Hello, I am part number ????????????????.
  • HELP! Protect America’s children, soil, and water today.
  • Even happiest amoebae lack sexual organs.
  • When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.
  • Power is an illusion; only stupidity is real.
  • Today, take an astronaut to launch.
  • Sharper than an asp’s tooth to have a thankless child.
  • Life is an onion and one peels it crying.
  • Shame is an ornament to the young, a disgrace to the old.
  • I’m writing an unauthorized autobiography.
  • Human Being: An ingenious assembly of portable plumbing.
  • Window-screen: An arrangement for keeping flies in.
  • Be mischievous and creative, if they fit you.
  • A programmer and his mind are soon parted
  • Our first and last love is – self-love. Bovee
  • The hole and the patch should be commensurate.
  • Speak braggarts and you speak of those lacking something
  • Do well and you will have no need for ancestors.
  • Without love and trust all you can be in life is alone.
  • Men die and worms eat them - but not for love Shake
  • Your Yin and Yang are no longer on speaking terms.
  • Talking is another disease of age.
  • The shortest answer is doing.
  • Never trust anyone who speaks well of everyone.
  • Youngsters remember anything if it happened or not.
  • Round numbers are always false.
  • Some thoughts are best guillotined before actions result.
  • Young gorillas are friendly, but they soon learn.
  • Old birds are hard to pluck.
  • All clowns are masked, all personae flow from choices
  • When we are not sure, we are alive.
  • All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.
  • Closed eyes are not always sleeping.
  • All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.
  • How wise are they that are but fools in love! Cooke
  • When puns are outlawed only outlaws will have puns
  • Lean books are often larded with the fat of others’ works
  • Good manners are the lubricant of social intercourse.
  • Irregular verbs are on sale in the bargain basement.
  • Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
  • Some cures are worse than the disease.
  • Religious people are wicked, how would they be without?
  • The only argument with the wind is to put on a coat.
  • Beware! I’m armed and have suffered from PMS all my life.
  • The best armor is to keep out of range.
  • JUST ROOTIN’ AROUND.
  • Art for art’s sake is a philosophy of the well-fed.
  • As long as I live, I shall be, myself, no other, just me.
  • Nobody is as deaf as those who will not to hear.
  • I sighed as a lover, I obeyed as a child.
  • As easy as 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841.
  • Paranoia isn’t as much fun as it used to be.
  • You learn as much by writing as you do by reading.
  • We are as made by God us, and often a great deal worse.
  • The world, as we know it, has come to an end!!
  • Kiss my ASCII
  • Charity begins at home, and mostly ends where it begins.
  • DANGER! Human at keyboard!
  • Forgotten men at the bottom of the economic pyramid FDR
  • Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
  • To excel at what you do, you must love doing it.
  • Meaningless tagline attached to pointless message.
  • Cow’s breath attracts mosquitoes and tsetse flies!
  • When the bad combine, the good must associate.
  • Man’s the bad child of the universe. Oppenheim
  • It is bad luck to be superstitious.
  • Movement To Ban Silly Tag Lines; Send Donations to:
  • Marriages are based on believing you won the arguments.
  • Cogito ergo Batman – I think, therefore I BLAM!
  • Holy Razorblades, Batman! That was a close shave!
  • Woman must be a genius to create a good husband. Balzac
  • Many would be cowards if they had courage enough.
  • It will be done on time, if I can find the time.
  • Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
  • You may be Southern – but you’re no Comfort.
  • Nobody can be just like me.
  • I can’t be stupid, I completed third grade!
  • I can’t be overdrawn, I still have checks!
  • You cannot be too careful in the choice of your enemies.
  • Nobody can be like me. Even I have trouble doing so.
  • I may be stupid, but that still makes me smarter than you
  • Contraceptives: to be used on all conceivable occasions.
  • Biography should be written by an acute enemy.
  • Scotty! Hurry! Beam me uragg^*??? NO CARRIER
  • It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood,…
  • Surly to bed, and surly to rise.
  • Today has been a long year!!!!!!!!!!
  • Where you’ve been means much less than where you’re going
  • She has been under more drunken sailors than a head.
  • Shake well before use …
  • Think carefully before wishing, it might just come true.
  • 90% of being smart is knowing what you’re dumb at.
  • No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn’t work anyway.
  • We must believe in free will. We have no choice.
  • A thief believes that everybody steals.
  • Every idiot believes that they are Cassandra.
  • Seeing is believing, Touching is convincing..
  • Living: The best demonstration of victory over mortality.
  • I’ve had BETA days … and nights!!!
  • It works better if you plug it in AND THEN turn it on.
  • It works better if you plug it in where it should be.
  • It is better to know useless things than to know nothing.
  • It is better to know nothing than to know what ain’t so.
  • Prevention is better than cure.
  • Persons reading between the lines do so at their own risk
  • When choosing between two evils, select the newer one.
  • The highest bidder catches the most politicians.
  • ZMODEM has bigger bits, softer blocks, and tighter ASCII.
  • Even the blind can see money.
  • Indiscriminate study bloats the mind.
  • The best blood at times gets into fools and mosquitoes.
  • Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
  • Every hard-boiled egg is yellow inside.
  • Gnaw the bone which has fallen to thy lot.
  • I’m so bored, I’m starting to miss my husband.
  • Hick: Looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
  • ROM wasn’t built in a day.
  • Talking of bulls is not like being in the bull ring.
  • FLASH Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
  • God gave burdens shoulders also.
  • It’s nobody’s business, not even mine.
  • God heals, but always someone else wants a fee.
  • Love truth but pardon error.
  • Honesty pays, but not enough for some.
  • We’re lost, but we’re making good time.
  • A belly button is for salt when you eat celery in bed.
  • People will buy anything that’s one to a customer.
  • Money can’t buy happiness, but allows a choice of misery.
  • Dollars cannot buy yesterday.
  • Mosquito: Designed by God to make flies seem better.
  • Everyone lives by selling something. - R.L. Stevenson
  • To the Caliph I am dirt, but to dirt, I am Caliph.
  • Forget RTFM - Call The Author At Home!
  • Blond Mating Call: Oh, I’m so drunk [giggle]!!
  • Only hey can conquer who believe they can.
  • A gentleman can disagree without being disagreeable.
  • The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
  • No medicine can cure a vulgar person.
  • Gen. Custer, can I be excused for this afternoon?
  • Sure I can help you out! Which way did you come in?
  • Those who can, Do. Those who can’t, call it a KLUDGE.
  • Any day can be the beginning of a new year.
  • Those who can, Do. Those who can’t, Criticize.
  • A problem can be found for almost every solution.
  • Those who can, do; Those who can’t, simulate..
  • Blaming others can become a satisfying way of life.
  • Only I can tell where my own shoe pinches me.
  • No one can think clearly with clenched fists.
  • No wonder can last more than three days.
  • Any fool can tell the truth, it takes sense to lie well.
  • Now where can you find one, nicer than this..
  • If you can touch it and you can see it, it’s REAL
  • When we can’t dream the time for death has arrived.
  • Fiction: It can’t hold a scandal to biography.
  • If you can’t bite, don’t show your teeth.
  • If you can’t make it good, make it big.
  • When you can’t make it GOOD, make it BIG!
  • If you can’t make it work, make a statistic of it.
  • If one cannot catch a bird of paradise, grab a wet hen.
  • Russian Express Card motto: Don’t leave home!
  • Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
  • Drop your carrier…We have you surrounded!
  • Halt and catch fire!
  • Cities, like cats, will reveal themselves at night.
  • The chief cause of problems is solutions.
  • En boca cerrada no entran moscas.
  • The only certainty is that nothing is certain.
  • All things change, nothing is extinguished.
  • Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
  • My reality check just bounced.
  • So dumb: Chewing the stick, not sucking the lollipop.
  • On a clear disk you can seek forever.
  • That should clear out your sinuses.
  • Clever father, clever daughter; clever mother, clever son
  • You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories.
  • Wear old clothes when you fight for truth and liberty.
  • A rooster clucks defiance – but a lawyer ….
  • f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng
  • Try cooling coffee by holding it closer to your heart.
  • The wildest colts make the best steeds.
  • Blessings never come in pairs; misfortunes never alone.
  • O Oysters come and walk with us, the Walrus did beseech.
  • Dogmatism: Puppyism come to its full growth.
  • Mischief all comes from too much opening of the mouth.
  • If worst comes to worst, you CAN turn most things off.
  • From listening comes wisdom, from speaking, repentance.
  • DANGER DANGER Computer store ahead…hide wallet.
  • What soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals.
  • Vulgarity: The conduct of others.
  • Youth + confidence + myopia = naivete.
  • Keyboard not connected, press <F1> to continue.
  • Madre que consiente engorda una serpiente.
  • Every person constructs their own bed of nails.
  • A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper its written on
  • Monologue: A conversation between realtor and prospect.
  • Are those cookies made with real Girl Scouts?
  • Shhhhhh…..the topic cops are coming
  • All power corrupts, but we need electricity.
  • When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
  • Flattery is counterfeit money, circulated by vanity.
  • Pants: Trousers’ country cousins.
  • In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
  • What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
  • The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward.
  • Take two crows and caw me in the morning
  • The greatest cunning is to have none at all.
  • Assumption #1: Dan Quayle is smarter than broccoli.
  • It is dangerous to confuse children with angels.
  • It’s always darkest before you step on the cat.
  • Poker: It’s darkest just before you’ve drawn.
  • Here today, dawn tomorrow.
  • What a day may bring, a day may take away.
  • Yeah…and some day the sun will die out.
  • Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.
  • Nietzsche is Dead! - God
  • Frankly my dear, I don’t give a download! -Rhett Sysop
  • In making decisions, recall that the trend is a friend.
  • What youth deemed crystal, age finds was dew.
  • The best defense against logic is stupidity.
  • <<< Tagline deleted by Natl Endowment for the Arts >>>
  • …. a deluge of words and drop of sense.
  • Genealogy. Tracing descent from someone who didn’t.
  • Who’s the designated driver? This mouse is loaded!
  • Modem…. A deterrent to phone solicitors.
  • Celery raw develops a jaw. But stewed, is quietly chewed
  • SHIN - A device for finding furniture in the dark.
  • So where did we all come from??????
  • No, I didn’t. - Teddy Kennedy
  • If I die, I forgive you, if I recover, we shall see.
  • Postmen never die, they just lose their zip.
  • A true diplomat struts sitting down.
  • The hard disk you save may be your own.
  • My Hard Disk went on a diet and lost it’s FAT
  • The shortest distance between two puns: a straight line.
  • If you do drink and drive don’t smoke.
  • Incorrigible punster – do not incorrige!
  • You can’t do that. It’s been digitally cursed.
  • Lotus executives do not wear Look & Feel T shirts.
  • Good printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.
  • What’s up doc?
  • The best doctor is the one you run for and can’t find.
  • Don’t trust doctors, they once said you were sane.
  • Daddy. What does Formatting Drive C: mean?
  • No one does as much harm as one going about doing good.
  • For whom, does the gun toll for…t
  • What good does it do an ass to be called a lion?
  • The truth doesn’t hurt unless it ought to.
  • To a dog his owner is Napoleon; hence their popularity.
  • A good dog barks when told.
  • People, not dogs, sell their souls for money or power.
  • We’re off doing beta, the wonderful beta of oooz
  • Backups? We don’ NEED no steenking baX%^~,VbKx!
  • If you don’t care where you are, then you can’t get lost.
  • If you don’t fall down, you’re not trying!
  • If you don’t eat garlic, they’ll never smell it on you.
  • I’m flexible.just don’t change anything.
  • Two writes don’t make a novel!
  • Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
  • Humpty Dumpty DOS - Just a shell of himself.
  • It is double pleasure to deceive the deceiver.
  • When in doubt; Cheat !
  • Dare to dream and fight to keep that dream alive.
  • They who drink beer will think beer.
  • Foolish fears drive away good fortune.
  • Is this drive really moving with my head parked?
  • Se non e vero, e molto ben trovato.
  • Living on earth is better than loafing around Hades.
  • It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
  • It is easier to admire hard work if you don’t do it.
  • It is easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar.
  • Virtue is easy for an ugly woman.
  • It is easy to propose impossible remedies.
  • Save trees, eat beavers.
  • You can’t eat your friends and have them too.
  • Restaurant: An eating place that does not sell drugs.
  • Mr. Worf!! Eating Christmas Cookies, on my Bridge???
  • Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
  • Quien da el pan impone la ley.
  • Bad officials: elected by good citizens who fail to vote.
  • Women and elephants never forget. Parker
  • Women and elephants never forget real or supposed injury.
  • Wives and elephants never forget real or supposed injury.
  • Computers also eliminate spare time.
  • When all else is lost, the future still remains.
  • Remember, the end never justifies the meanness.
  • Where law ends, there tyranny begins.
  • Love your enemies – it makes them so damned mad.
  • Use your enemy’s hand to catch a snake.
  • A bachelor enjoys the chase but doesn’t eat the game.
  • A big enough hammer fixes anything
  • Misfortunes always enter a door left open for them.
  • Everyone IS entitled to my opinion.
  • Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
  • General stupidity error reading drive C
  • Madam, an error, we did a hysterectomy on your husband
  • Teamwork is essential it allows you to blame someone else
  • Do I even WANT ancestors? Some found I wish I could lose.
  • Nothing is ever constant, unless it is dead.
  • No person ever became wicked all at once.
  • Did you ever stop to think, and forget to restart?
  • At 19, everything is possible; tomorrow looks friendly.
  • To tolerate everything is to teach nothing.
  • Spring makes everything young again except humans.
  • Silence is evidence of a superb command of the language.
  • A living example of Artificial Intelligence.
  • Everything changes except change itself.
  • A noisy exhaust to some almost amounts to a mating call.
  • Defeat even explained well stinks.
  • Close your eyes and press escape three times.
    • :-F Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing.
  • Help! I’ve fallen and can’t get up. A. Tree
  • He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
  • The Devil falls on account of his gravity.
  • If the family skeleton must remain, make it dance.
  • Being old fashioned is not necessarily good or better.
  • Error reading FAT Table..Try Skinny one ? (Y/N)
  • And when fate summons monarchs must obey;
  • Irony: Giving father a billfold for Christmas.
  • The greatest fault is to be conscious of none.
  • Sandwich: Any faulty attempt to make both ends meat.
  • Sandwich: An faulty attempt to make both ends meat.
  • Don’t be fazed by new fashions in anything.
  • Feather by feather the goose is plucked.
  • An appeaser feeds a crocodile, hoping to be eaten last.
  • Yes-men: Fellows who hang around the man nobody noes.
  • Collector: Person few care to see but ask to call again.
  • When you find anything that works, it usually fails.
  • If you find it, it is always in the last place you look.
  • Celebrate the first day you open the windows.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, re-format!
  • If at first you don’t succeed: Blame everyone else.
  • If at first you don’t succeed; Blame everyone else
  • If at first you doubt, doubt again.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, fall back and punt!
  • If at first you don’t exceed, try, try again.
  • If at first you doubt, doubt again, and again …
  • A word fitly spoken is like a beautiful apple of gold.
  • How time flies, when you are in a heap of problems..
  • Public opinion flourishes where there are no ideas.
  • Said the fly, Let us flee. Said the flea Let us fly.
  • Angels can fly since they take themselves lightly.
  • A learned fool is more foolish than an ignorant fool.
  • Look out for barking dogs that bite.
  • Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
  • Fear not, for I have given you authority
  • A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act it out.
  • Stulti timent fortunam sapientes ferunit.
  • Never lean forward to push an invisible object.
  • Those who fought for it know the true taste of freedom!
  • Reader not found, please notify tagline.
  • Backup not found: (P) Panic (Any Other Key) Panic.
  • COFFEE.COM not found: A)dd more, R)eheat F)reak out.
  • Backup not found: Abort, Retry, Massive heart failure?
  • A sleeping fox counts hens in his dreams.
  • What are friends for? - R.M. Nixon
  • Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.
  • The race from stupidity is to the driven, not the swift.
  • What results from using spot remover on your dog Spot?
  • Windows 3.0: From the people who brought you EDLIN.
  • The ripest fruit falls first..
  • Graveyards are full of the indispensable.
  • Sysoping: More fun than being beaten with a sledgehammer.
  • Wedding: A funeral where you smell your own flowers.
  • All your future lies beneath your hat.
  • Beware of geeks bearing GIFs!
  • Men, in general, are but great great children Napoleon
  • Every person gets to heaven in their own way.
  • Quick! Operator! Give me the number for 911!
  • A gun gives you the body, not the bird.
  • Politics: The glad hand and the marble heart.
  • When you go to the market, use your eyes, not your ears.
  • Nothing can go wrong…go wrong…go wro*%$@# NO CARRIER
  • Women’s clothes: Go to extremes, seldom to extremities.
  • Beware when God lets loose a thinker on this planet.
  • Since life goes on - you might as well get on with it.
  • Silver and gold make even pigs seem clean.
  • Nickel: Once good for getting the wrong number with.
  • Greed is good, greed works.
  • Modesty is good bait when fishing for praise.
  • Let no good deed go unpunished.
  • Be as good at receiving as you are at giving.
  • The only GOOD Romulan is a DEAD Romulan.
  • Garbage in, Gospel out!
  • I finally got it all together, but forgot where I put it
  • I Just got stopped by the LAPD and boy am I beat!
  • When you gotta go, you gotta go!
  • Love – a grave mental disease. Plato
  • Call waiting, great if you have two friends
  • Make two grins grow where there was only a grouch before.
  • Jury: A group chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
  • Many foxes grow gray, but few grow good.
  • We NEVER grow up, we just get older, and older, and …
  • The mind grows by what it feeds upon.
  • A woman’s guess is more accurate than a man’s certainty.
  • SYSOP: The guy that is laughing at your typing!
  • Old McDonald had a computer with EIA I/O.
  • The child had every toy his father wanted.
  • Oh well, half of one, six dozen of the other.
  • Only the hand that erases can write the true thing.
  • This open hand of desire wants everything.
  • It is hard to believe that even his friends like him.
  • Funny thing…. harder I work, luckier I get!
  • Every crowd has a silver lining.
  • Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
  • Every politician has a price, some hold bargain sales.
  • An atheist has no invisible means of support.
  • Ancient custom has the force of law.
  • ATTENTION …………..Elvis has left the echo.
  • Beauty faded has no second spring.
  • Don’t steal…..Politicians hate competition.
  • Every why hath a wherefore.
  • The law hath not been dead, though it hath slept. Shake
  • The worst hatred is that of relatives.
  • What we have here is a failure to communicate.
  • Straight trees have crooked roots.
  • Little pitchers have wide ears.
  • Today I have grown taller from walking with the trees.
  • Radioactive cats have 18 half lives….
  • I may have my faults, but being wrong ain’t one of them.
  • I would have suffered a lot more if understood.
  • I don’t have to look up my family tree. I’m the sap
  • A thick head can do as much damage as a hard heart.
  • Those without heads do not need hats.
  • Penguin: The headwaiter of the Antarctic.
  • Ignore your health and it will go away.
  • Follow your heart and let your head take care of itself.
  • Is this Heaven… No. Smell, its Iowa
  • The only heavy breathing I ever hear is after aerobics.
  • What the heck just happened here?
  • Even hairless heiresses are always beautiful.
  • She devotes her spare time to neglecting duties.
  • Drama in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.
  • To love her was a liberal education. Steele
  • You aren’t here forever, Enjoy each day as a miracle.
  • It is hereditary in my family to have no children.
  • I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
  • Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air.
  • In human history, most leaders prove to be good bleeders.
  • Where do honey bees go potty? At a BP station naturally.
  • Abandon all hope, ye who press ??? here
  • You realize how short a month when you pay alimony.
  • Homo sum; humani nihil a me alienum puto.
  • I’m more humble than you are!
  • I think I got it made and they throw something else at me
  • Oh could I fly, I’d fly with thee …
  • Every time I have answers, someone changes the questions!
  • Of course I can cook, but I never do it on the first date
  • Ever since I gave up hope, I feel much better.
  • I/O I/O IT’S WRITE TO DISK I GO I/O I/O
  • Bubble, Bubble.Am I too late to jump the ship ??
  • I came; I saw; I screwed up.
  • How do I set my Laser Printer to Stun?
  • I owe, I owe, so off to work I go…
  • No Commander, I meant the OTHER battleship.
  • Just when I make ends meet, someone moves one!
  • Art is I; Science is We.
  • Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a tagline writer.
  • Don’t worry, I’m fluent in weirdo
  • Don’t shoot! I’m only the Casio player!
  • Every valuable idea offends someone.
  • Words and ideas are what change our world.
  • Hero-worship: Idol gossip.
  • Simple rule: If you don’t treat me right, shame on you.
  • Without my ignorance, your knowledge would be meaningless
  • Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
  • We are immortal, but only for a very limited time.
  • Mistrust first impulses, they are always good.
  • We are in bondage to the law so that we may be free.
  • A person in a passion rides a mad horse.
  • So crowded in here, I must go outside to change my mind!
  • Engraving is, in brief terms, the art of scratch.
  • Rational information in arguments not permitted here!
  • A nose in artificial manure is not studying nature.
  • BOLDLY start in REVERSE, cause that’s the GENEALOGY way!
  • It runs in the blood like wooden legs.
  • A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
  • The fish in the sea are as good as the fish removed.
  • As lacking in privacy as a goldfish.
  • To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.
  • Usually insane; in lucid moments merely stupid.
  • The characters in this message are recyclable
  • A bird in the hand’s better than one overhead.
  • A pain in the butt may be a friend in need.
  • A bird in the bush can’t make a mess in your hand.
  • Mountains culminate in peaks, and nations in people.
  • Notice: All incoming fire has the right of way.
  • Meetings are indispensable for not doing anything.
  • Dulce bellum inexpertis.
  • Due to inflation, all clouds will now be lined with zinc.
  • I’m as innocent as a new-laid egg.
  • Beep! Invalid Input. I take only cash….
  • Scrute the inscrutable; eff the ineffable.
  • Outside noisy, inside empty.
  • It’s what inside you, not the outside that counts.
  • Repartee: An insult with a suit and tie on.
  • Cynicism is intellectual dandyism.
  • Instinct is intelligence incapable of self-consciousness.
  • Any socialism involves more slavery than democracy.
  • Iron sharpens iron; scholar, the scholar.
  • All reality is aspect dependent.
  • The world is coming to an end!
  • If this is a battle, then you have already lost.
  • Herman Hollerith is buried 9 edge, face down.
  • Old age is better than the alternative.
  • An optimist is a guy without much experience..
  • The world is a beautiful book, for those who can read it.
  • Running Windows is better than washing them.
  • One who is in peril thinks with their legs.
  • A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
  • Any certainty is a delusion.
  • Good luck is a lazy man’s estimate of a worker’s success.
  • A farmer is always going to be rich next year.
  • No answer is also an answer.
  • Well begun is half done.
  • To err is human, to forgive is against company policy!
  • To err is human, to forgive.. unlikely.
  • This discussion is hanging by a thread.
  • Our future is always uncertain our end is always too near
  • A miser is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor.
  • A newspaper is a collection of half-injustices
  • A miser is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor.
  • A hen is an egg’s way of making another egg.
  • To err is Human, but to blame someone else is politics.
  • A jug is carried under your coat for a dishonest reason.
  • Where there is a stink feces there is the odor of being.
  • A person is a lion in his own cause.
  • If thou is a artist, how does one grasp your art?
  • This door is baroque; please call Bach later.
  • A yawn is a silent shout.
  • This machine is an instrument of terror
  • One who is always in a stew generally goes to pot.
  • This universe is a figment of it’s own imagination.
  • The city is not a concrete jungle. It is a human zoo.
  • A crappie is not a sunfish found in a toilet.
  • A mother is not a dust rag.
  • The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only heavier
  • The world is like a cactus except the pricks are inside.
  • Education which is not modern, faces the organic fate.
  • The consumer is not a moron, it is your spouse.
  • Where there is no shame, there is no honor.
  • Judicial reform is no sport for the short-winded.
  • The sun is never the worse for shining on a dunghill.
  • A book is the only immortality.
  • The cinema is not a slice of life but a piece of cake.
  • Network management is like trying to herd cats…
  • Hmmm, When is the last time the Tooth Fairy visited you?
  • What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
  • 5? floppy is not better than 3? hard.
  • What grammar is to speech, logic is to reason.
  • This tagline is SHAREWARE! To register, send $20 …
  • This tagline is only for the living.
  • TV advertising is the rattling inside a swill bucket.
  • The truth is one thing that nobody will believe.
  • A shower is the halfway point between bed and world.
  • A lie is terminological inexactitude. Churchill
  • Every person is the architect of their own fortune.
  • Wasting time is one of the more important parts of life.
  • Applied emotion is the key to success with happiness.
  • Good taste is the flower of good sense.
  • The future is not what it used to be.
  • The pen is the tongue of the mind.
  • If life is just a bowl of cherries, throwing pits is OK.
  • The proof is the phylogeny of plant-animal interactions.
  • A hole is nothing, but you can break your neck in it.
  • Software, hardware, – is that you talking Sigmund?
  • Man: There is nothing more miserable and more arrogant.
  • The past is not what it will be.
  • A conclusion is where you got tired of thinking.
  • No generalization is wholly true, not even this one.
  • A father is usually a banker provided by nature.
  • Whatever it is, whenever it occurs, I’m against it!
  • This tagline is umop apisdn.
  • If Life Is A Highway… What’s The Queensway?
  • A liar isn’t believed even when he speaks the truth.
  • Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
  • If it isn’t true, at least it is a happy invention.
  • Common sense isn’t.
  • Communication.. without it, everyone’s a mushroom.
  • Hams do it with frequency, till their GIGAHERTZ!
  • Priests Do It Faithfully With Masses
  • Oh that? It was playing leap frog with a unicorn.
  • Forget HIM it’s time to run a HER for president.
  • It’s love, it’s love that makes the world go round.
  • Ambition destroys its possessor.
  • History repeats itself because nobody listens
  • I’m incredibly jealous, but still glad for you.
  • Thousands of journeys have a start but no end.
  • With our judgements as our watches, none go just alike.
  • Success is just a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
  • Sysoping, not just an adventure, sometimes it’s emesis.
  • Your karma just ran over my dogma.
  • Don’t Panic! Just push the Reset button.
  • Too often justice is incidental to law and order.
  • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
  • A KGB keyboard has no <ESC> key!
  • Guns don’t kill people, off-line readers do.
  • It’s the kind of thing that makes people go Hmmmmmmm..
  • May we kiss those we please, and please those we kiss.
  • Not to know is bad, but not to wish to know is worse.
  • You must know much before you know how little you know.
  • The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
  • Tact is knowing how far to go in going too far.
  • The more known about people, the more to admire in dogs.
  • All the kookies are not in the jar.
  • –T-A+G-L-I+N-E–+M-E-A+S-U-R+I-N-G+–G-A+U-G-E–.
  • What orators lack in depth, they give in length.
  • Sub omni lapide scorpio dormit.
  • Hasten to laugh at everything lest you be obliged to weep
  • We must laugh at man, to avoid crying for him Napoleon
  • He who laughs last probably made a backup.
  • Fat heads, lean brains.
  • The wise learn more from fools than fools from the wise.
  • What is learned in youth is understood in age.
  • Remember to leave 15% for the tip of the iceberg.
  • Friends don’t let friends drive Fords!
  • Rumors love lies.
  • Men know life too early, women too late Wilde
  • Such is life.
  • Love is like a baseball game, four balls and you walk.
  • He bellows like a cow standing on her tit.
  • Cats are like furry dilettanti, or the reverse?
  • Love is like a baseball game, three strikes you’re out.
  • Hollywood is like Picasso’s bathroom.
  • Do you like me for my brain, or my BAUD?
  • Life is like Jazz, it should be improvised.
  • Even the lion has to protect himself against flies.
  • If people listened to themselves, they would shut up.
  • Man loves little and often, woman much and rarely.
  • Taxation is little more than legalized extortion.
  • Born crying, live complaining, die disappointed.
  • We all live in a yellow subroutine.
  • May you live all the days of your life. Swift
  • Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.
  • If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
  • Dime de lo que blasonas, y te dire de lo quwe careces.
  • Unable to locate Coffee – Operator Halted!
  • Logic is logic. That’s all I say. Holmes
  • To live long, it is necessary to live slowly. Cicero
  • If U look close enough, the truth is hidden in the words.
  • That concept looks like a chicken in a windstorm.
  • I haven’t lost my mind..It must be backed-up somewhere.
  • Actions speak louder than words – but not so often.
  • Spongecake: Dessert made of borrowed ingredients.
  • OFF-line mail make sysop’s happy.
  • Computers don’t make mistakes, but foolish people do.
  • A teetotaller makes the worst drunkard.
  • Give the man a cigar!
  • Where no man has.. where no ONE has.. to hell with it!
  • Shake, a man of note, wrote so many things to quote.
  • Creditor: A man who has a longer memory than a debtor.
  • Self-made man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.
  • A great many family trees were started by grafting.
  • Wisdom of many and the wit of a half.
  • There are many ways to show affection.
  • Better to marry a man who loves you than one you love.
  • It doesn’t matter if you win, it’s the point spread.
  • Some settling may have occurred in shipping.
  • Caution: Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
  • Beulah, peel me a grape.
  • As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.
  • Oh, pardon me, was that your culture? So sorry.
  • It is meaningless to speak of domesticating a child.
  • Uh, yeah…I MEANT to do that!
  • How much memory have you got? One brain, one memory.
  • A good memory is one trained to forget the trivial.
  • Malice is merely stupidity raised to a higher power.
  • We have met the enemy, and he’s all yours!
  • BBS: a method to triple your phone bill.
  • UNIX, the MF of all DOSes.
  • Strength of mind: Person who can eat one salted peanut.
  • Money: A mint makes it first and we try to make it last.
  • You obviously mistook me for someone who knows.
  • God dislikes money – look who he gives it to.
  • Silence is more eloquent at times than words.
  • Carelessness does more harm than a want of knowledge.
  • Not everything more difficult is more meritorious.
  • Evangelists do more than lay people.
  • Evangelists do more than lay people, sometimes …
  • Children have more need of models than of critics.
  • Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
  • The thing most generally raised on land is taxes.
  • Corruption. The most infallible symptom of liberty.
  • Pedestrian: The most approachable chap in the world.
  • A closed mouth gathers no flies.
  • Character is much easier kept than recovered.
  • California raisins murdered! Cereal killer suspected.
  • Most allies must be watched just like the enemy.
  • Oh captain! my captain! our fearful trip is done. WW
  • I’d give my left arm to be ambidextrous
  • Maytag is my middle name; I’m an agitator.
  • Please! Take my word for it.
  • Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can’t Find The Reverse Switch!
  • Angling: The name given to fishing by non-fishermen.
  • Hi. My name is Rover, I’ll paint your car yellow free.
  • Swell-head: Nature’s frantic effort to fill a vacuum.
  • No decorations necessary.
  • Quick, I need a tagline, let me steal yours
  • Civilized people need love for full sexual satisfaction.
  • I’m just needling you about the thread
  • Legal Marijuana needs true glaucoma patients.
  • Love thy neighbor, but keep the hedge in tact.
  • Love thy neighbor … just never get caught!!
  • Actions are neither as good nor as evil as impulses.
  • Old soldiers never die, they just fade away..
  • Old musicians never die, they just decompose.
  • Excess is never enough.
  • A person never tells you anything until contradicted.
  • Computers can never replace human stupidity.
  • Faint hearts never win in love nor sell life insurance.
  • Tabloid: A newspaper with a permanent crime wave.
  • Cleanliness is next to clean-limbed, in the dictionary.
  • I be nibble, you be quick, he jumped over the Joystick.
  • Stupidity is no excuse for not thinking.
  • There are no answers at best a few possibly good guesses.
  • There is no defense except stupidity against a new idea.
  • There is no joy in Mudville, mighty Casey has struck out.
  • He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
  • Carasvemos, corazones no sabemos.
  • Happiness is no laughing matter.
  • Fax me no questions, I’ll Fax you no lies!
  • There is no such thing as bravery; only degrees of fear.
  • Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned. Congreve
  • Stupidity has no limits, genius does.
  • This tagline no verb.
  • Brain damage? No thanks, I already have some.
  • Time goes? No. Alas time stays, we go.
  • A red nose can be the result of sunshine or moonshine.
  • Even a noseless dog can stink.
  • Please! Do not break character!
  • Earth was not earth before her sons appeared.
  • I am not a dictator. It’s just I have a grumpy face.
  • America was not discovered by Americans, shame on them.
  • Life is not a spectacle or a feast, it is a predicament.
  • Strange but not a stranger…
  • Words are not food, though sometimes we must eat them.
  • I am not an animal! I am … well, not an animal.
  • I may not be perfect, but I am all I got!
  • I am not arguing with you, I’m telling you.
  • Friendships are not always preserved in alcohol.
  • Read messages, not taglines!
  • Bastard toadflax: not the result nearsighted horny toads.
  • I do not pretend to know what the ignorant are sure of.
  • He is not only dull within, but causes dullness without.
  • Art does not reproduce the visible; it makes visible.
  • Ethics is not necessarily the handmaiden of theology.
  • Knowledge rests not on truth alone, but upon error also.
  • If it’s not worth doing, it’s not worth doing well.
  • I am not young enough to know everything.
  • If it’s not true, it’s quite easily found.
  • Oh, no! Not another learning experience!
  • Used Car: Not what it is jacked up to be.
  • I’m human: nothing human smells strange to me.
  • To do nothing is in every person’s power.
  • To risk nothing is to risk everything.
  • … Nobody notices when things go right.
  • To live now, first come to terms with your past.
  • Some nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men
  • Think hard now! Which one is Shinola?
  • F r o m the s l o w s p e a k e r s o f A m e r i c
  • An inch of dog is better than a mile of pedigree.
  • Be suspicious of all native-born Esperanto speakers.
  • The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
  • The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth.
  • The cost of feathers has risen… Now even DOWN is up!
  • Too much of a good thing is wonderful. <Mae West>
  • Fiddle: Friction of a horse’s tail on a cat’s entrails.
  • Honesty: Fear of being caught.
  • The wife of a careless man is almost a widow.
  • In case of doubt, make it sound convincing
  • Be suspicious of all native-born Esperanto speakers
  • A thing of beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
  • The tree of liberty is watered with the blood of tyrants.
  • A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck. Garfield
  • The welfare of the people is the chief law. Cicero
  • A ounce of pretension = a pound of manure!
  • Parents: One of the hardships of a minor’s life.
  • Biography: One of the terrors of death.
  • The purification of politics is an iridescent dream.
  • The Day of Judgement is approaching, or it is not.
  • The footprint of the owner is the best manure.
  • The course of true anything never does run smooth.
  • Man, born of woman is of few days; full of trouble. Job
  • The bird of war is not the eagle but the stork.
  • Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely
  • Non-fiction often is more unrealistic than fiction.
  • Beauty is often in the thighs of the beholder.
  • Ostrich: He often runs so fast he leaves himself behind.
  • Sure, when OINK FLAP OINK FLAP … I’ll be damned!
  • PCs are OK except when you use them as bowling balls.
  • Is it OK to yell ‘MOVIE’ in a crowded firehouse?
  • Adult: One old enough to know better.
  • To the old cat, the tender mouse.
  • A vote on the tally sheet is worth two in the box.
  • Be nice on your way up, you’ll meet on the way down.
  • Life is one long process of getting tired.
  • There’s always one more SOB than you counted on.
  • Smoking is one of leading causes of statistics.
  • Unbelief in one thing springs = blind belief in another.
  • Childish Game: One at which your spouse beats you.
  • Honest Politician: One who stays bought.
  • All for one; one for all; ME above all!
  • Misteaching: Telling one’s grandmother how to suck eggs.
  • Apology is only egotism wrong side out.
  • If youth only had a chance or old age any brains.
  • Age is only important if you’re a cheese.
  • Things could only be worse in Cleveland.
  • There is only one sure way to throw dice: away.
  • Postscript: The only thing of interest in some letters.
  • Yawn: The only time some men get to open their mouths.
  • Shareware it only works if you pay.
  • A lawyer’s opinion is worth nothing unless paid for.
  • Just My Opinion (But I’m Right!)
  • When uncertain, or in doubt, run in circles and scream.
  • Shut up, or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor.
  • Other times, other customs.
  • To understand other’s miseries, look at their pleasures.
  • Catastrophes to others are everyday events to you.
  • We make our own fortunes and call them our fate.
  • Chance makes our parents, but choice makes our friends.
  • The fewer our wants, the more we resemble the gods.
  • Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
  • Take egotism out, and you castrate the benefactors.
  • It’s not over until the FAT table sings
  • Waiting to overcome all objections, results in nothing.
  • Too many pages make a tome.
  • A mother pampering a child is raising a serpent.
  • Minds, like parachutes, work only when open.
  • Watch out..the paranoids are after you!
  • The trodden path is the safest.
  • Diplomacy: The patriotic lying for one’s country.
  • Bless the peacemakers their work will never end.
  • A bonded penguin is a happy penguin !
  • Learning makes people fit company for themselves.
  • If three people say you are an ass, put on a bridle.
  • Nature, like people sometimes weeps for gladness.
  • Adversity makes people wise but not rich.
  • Two of perfect virtue: one dead, the other yet unborn.
  • Dios tarda pero no olvida.
  • Quien con perros se acuesta con pulgas se levanta.
  • A wise person sees as much as ought, not as much can.
  • Golfer: A person who hits and tells.
  • Hobo: A person who builds palaces and lives in shacks.
  • Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
  • Kibitzer: A person with an interferiority complex.
  • An agreeable person: One who agrees with you.
  • Even a philosopher gets upset with a toothache.
  • Hey! Don’t pick up that pho?????????? NO CARRIER
  • Easy as pie, no fuss, no muss, no crust….
  • Zippy the pinhead is a twit
  • Bureaucracy: That place always in need of a laxative.
  • Subway: A place so crowded even men can’t all get seats.
  • Hotel: A place you give good dollars for bad quarters.
  • Laundry: A place where clothes are mangled.
  • Resort: A place where the tired grow more tired.
  • Celery farmers play the stalk market.
  • Prune: A plum that has seen better days.
  • It’s 11:56 pm. Do you know where your modem is?
  • Firmness in politics is called obstinacy in a donkey.
  • Pity the poor corpuscle, for he labors in vein.
  • It’s a poor cook who cannot lick his own fingers.
  • It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.
  • Sculptor: A poor unfortunate who makes faces and busts.
  • Time is precious, but truth is more so.
  • A jerk present in a group indicates a jerk in charge.
  • Don’t knock President Fillmore; he kept us out of VietNam
  • SYSTEM ERROR: press F13 to continue..
  • Solve the problems of the world: Vote anarchist.
  • Put off procrastinating till a later time.
  • A child prodigy knows not to bother with it.
  • Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
  • Any given program, when running, is obsolete!
  • Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?
  • If you push something hard enough…
  • Resist being put in boxes.
  • Whenever Possible, Put People On Hold
  • ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
  • Silly Wabbit, QWKs are for kids.
  • It always rains right after I wax philosophical.
  • Quoth the Raven, Eat My Shorts.
  • ROM instruction-Read Operators Mind
  • Not a real tagline, but an incredible soy substitute.
  • The only realities are the atoms and empty space.
  • For some, reality is an illusion.
  • Does it really matter which cola I drink?
  • Is wetter REALLY better?
  • Does anyone REALLY read these stupid taglines?
  • Reality.Sys corrupted – Reboot Universe (Y/N)?
  • Admiration: Polite recognition of self-reflection.
  • Hm..what’s this red button fo??????NO CARRIER
  • A Robin redbreast in a cage puts all heaven in a rage.
  • Some winners rely upon miracles without believing in them
  • Just cannot resist a little fun along the way. :-)
  • I can resist everything/anything except temptation.
  • I can resist everything except temptation.
  • Floppy not responding, Format HARD DRIVE instead? Y/N ?
  • Endocannibalism: The result of a really hungry cannibal.
  • We have resumed control…we have resumed control…
  • A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.
  • All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
  • Only the rich have distant relatives.
  • Maybe it’s right to be nervous now…
  • Protect your right to arm bears!
  • Always do right: Gratify some and astonish the rest.
  • I never rise above the noise and confusion…
  • A male rite of passage: Writing your name in the snow.
  • Heads will roll!
  • Marriage, a romance but the hero dies in the 1st chapter.
  • A good rooster crows in any hen house.
  • The only roses without thorns are love and friendship.
  • Detour: The roughest distance between two points.
  • Money is round, it rolls away.
  • Hug: A roundabout way of expressing affection.
  • Philosophy: A route leading from nowhere to nothing.
  • All rivers run into the sea, yet the sea is not full.
  • Here I run, to steal the secret of the sun.
  • C program run… Run, program, run… PLEASE!!!
  • And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
  • And God said: E = ?mv? - Ze?/r …and there WAS light!
  • Actions from sanity are not necessarily from feeling.
  • If I save the whales, where do I keep them?
  • A dime saved is a dollar earned. The rest was Uncle Sam’s
  • A penny saved is a Congressional oversight.
  • Si jeunesse savoit, si vieillesse pouvoit.
  • Diplomacy is saying nice doggy until you find a rock.
  • Mr. Bullfrog says: Time is fun when you’re having flies.
  • Rainforest: a scarcity of animals a plethora of tourists.
  • A good scare is better than good advice.
  • I’m not schizophrenic, I’m multi-faceted.
  • UART?.. Me Science?
  • A fool searches for a greater fool to find admiration.
  • ‘Tis the season to be punny……
  • Getting a second chance is never a certainty.
  • When you see a snake, never mind where he came from.
  • To avoid seeing a fool, break your mirror.
  • I have seen the future and it is now the past.
  • Have you seen my mind? It wandered again.<sigh>
  • hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
  • The cautious seldom err.
  • Skeptics are seldom deceived.
  • Illustrate your Sermons! Wear far side ties.
  • They also serve who only stand and wait.
  • Mr. Bullfrog sez: Time is fun when you’re having flies.
  • I’m in shape … round’s a shape isn’t it?
  • Golden Rule: she who has the gold makes the rules.
  • A statesman shears the sheep; the politician skins them.
  • To whom should I go to for some self-help?
  • No person should govern another without their permission.
  • Every child should be given the desire to learn.
  • Every woman should marry – and no man. Disraeli
  • Little boats should keep near the shore.
  • Confucius say: Show-off always shown up in showdown.
  • !enif tsuj si gnihtyrevE
  • Couldn’t have sid it better myself!
  • The first sigh of love is the last of wisdom. Bret
  • A beard signifies lice, not brains.
  • Recognize the signs of spring.
  • There’s no skeletons in my closet!
  • They are slaves who fear to speak for the fallen & weak.
  • Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
  • A person slow to anger is better than the mighty.
  • Where’s there’s smoke, there’s toast.
  • That’s a smug aura of respectability you see in a mirror?
  • You spotted snakes with double tongue.. be not seen.
  • It was so cold, I almost got married.
  • Nothing is so smiple that it can’t get screwed up.
  • Earth: A solid substance, much desired by the seasick.
  • Be flexible, some things just take time.
  • Memory Manager: something I need more than my computer.
  • Redundancy is something I can do again and again….
  • Quick! Say something profound in 45 characters or le
  • Hot air sometimes thaws out a cold reception.
  • I’m terribly sorry, but I’m afraid you’re just a mirage.
  • Think much, speak little, and write less.
  • Since GOD spelled backwards is DOG, is my poodle Satan?
  • I spilled spot remover on my dog. He’s gone now.
  • HHeellpp!! II'‘mm ssttuucckk iinn hhaallff–dduupplleexx!
  • Keep cool, stand in front of an open refrigerator.
  • We have standards and expect you not to exceed them.
  • I just steal ‘em, I don’t explain ‘em.
  • The first step towards philosophy is incredulity.
  • You can’t step twice in the same river.
  • This tagline stolen by Silly Little Mail Reader!
  • A rolling stone is better than a bird in the hand.
  • Beneath every stone sleeps a scorpion.
  • The buck stops at the desk over there.
  • Misery brings strange bedfellows.
  • Bedfellows make strange politicians.
  • Facts are stubborn things.
  • Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
  • Sinner: A stupid person who gets found out.
  • Only the stupidest calves chose their own butcher.
  • Behind every successful man stands a surprised MIL.
  • There’s no such thing as gravity. The earth sucks.
  • Are we supposed to be having fun yet?
  • It was supposed to be so easy ………..
  • The eventual supremacy of reason should be accepted.
  • Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.
  • You always swat where he’s not, or if he is aha! a spot.
  • Good architecture takes on a life of its own.
  • He who talks too much commits a sin.
  • WARNING… drinking tap water may kill your thirst!
  • Hire a teenager while they still know it all.
  • Autobiography: Unrivalled telling truth about others.
  • Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever.
  • Yield to temptation; It may not pass your way again.
  • Pure drivel tends to drive away ordinary drivel.
  • No one test the depth of a river with both feet.
  • Often the test of courage is not to die but to live.
  • Th-th-th-that’s all, folks!
  • I think that I’m the friendliest guy in my zipcode.
  • I think that I’ll stand up-wind, if you don’t mind
  • Noble deeds that are concealed are most esteemed.
  • A pitcher that goes to a well too often is broken first.
  • Overestimation: Thinking that all your geese are swans.
  • Cats, proof that eating and sleeping isn’t all bad.
  • All sentences that seem true should be questioned.
  • Live so that the family parrot can live afterwards.
  • Who has the bread makes the laws.
  • GIVE: Support the helpless victims of computer error.
  • The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism.
  • Planned parenthood — the impossible dream.
  • Tact is the intelligence of the heart.
  • Worry is the interest paid on trouble in advance.
  • Sex isn’t the best nor the worst thing in the world.
  • Politics: Passing the buck or passing the doe.
  • RTFM - it’s the computer manuals I hate!
  • Bachelor: Plays the field until the field comes in.
  • I’m from the government. I’m here to help you.
  • God made the first garden, Cain the first city.
  • Dan Quayle: the EDLIN of Vice-Presidents.
  • Adam ate the apple, and our teeth still ache.
  • Gotta run, the cat’s caught in the printer.
  • Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
  • I like the 486 tower. Does it come in red?
  • Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it.
  • Adventure is the champagne of life.
  • Memoirs are the backstairs of history.
  • Wait! That’s the FORBIDDEN dance!
  • For many, the declension of life is: I go, you go, ego.
  • Society prepares the crime, the criminals commit them.
  • Architecture is the art of how to waste space.
  • Time is the dressmaker specializing in alterations.
  • Those whom the gods love grow young.
  • Many kiss the hand that they wish cut off.
  • Against stupidity, the Gods themselves, contend in vain !
  • Of all the people I have met, you are certainly one
  • Money is the sinews of both love and war.
  • Don’t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
  • Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder.
  • Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
  • God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them.
  • Confirmation of the past is often the greatest surprise.
  • People are the only creatures with the power of laughter.
  • Is relativism the only absolute?
  • Beware of the opinion of someone without any facts.
  • Indecision is the only key to flexibility ….
  • America is the only country founded on a good idea.
  • Always remember the past, but make waves when it matters.
  • Doctrine is the skin of truth set up and stuffed.
  • Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
  • Dew is the tears which the stars weep.
  • College: Guarantee the quality of the product or return.
  • Disease is the retribution of an outraged nature.
  • Wit is the spice of conversation, not the food.
  • The deeper the sorrow, the less tongue hath it.
  • Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
  • To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
  • Doubt is the root of education, not faith.
  • Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
  • Devoted to the study of cat bathing as a martial art.
  • Money is the root of all wealth *
  • Custom is the law of fools.
  • Prejudice is the reason of fools. Voltaire.
  • Sailors curse the rain that farmers prayed for in vain.
  • Leisure is the mother of philosophy.
  • Honey in the mouth and knives in the heart.
  • Today is the scene of the accident.
  • He is the most sensible looking man talking nonsense.
  • The longer the title, the less important the job.
  • Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats.
  • Man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
  • What is the world to a man when his wife is a widow?
  • What is the True meaning of DOS?
  • Memories keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.
  • Hypocrisy is the type of homage vice pays to virtue.
  • It’s better the world wonder why you AREN’T President.
  • With consequences, the unexpected always predominate.
  • Many possess the wisdom of many and only the wit of one.
  • A hangover the wrath of grapes
  • Seriousness is the very next step to being dull.
  • How dieth the wise man? As the fool.
  • Poker Face: The face that launched a thousand chips.
  • Adam’s Rib: The original bone of contention.
  • Army food: The spoils of war.
  • Artificial Intelligence: The other guy’s opinion.
  • Everyone meets their Waterloo at last.
  • Users: Keep them dry and don’t feed them after midnight.
  • That was then, this is now.
  • Latest conspiracy theory: Humpty Dumpty was pushed!!!
  • Why are there so many gnarly limbs on my family tree?
  • Without fools there would be no wisdom.
  • What if there were no hypothetical situations?
  • These Days There’s No Arrest For The Wicked
  • What fools these morals be!
  • Everyone as they loveth, some people kiss cows.
  • Blood is thicker than water, and much more tastier.
  • Envy is thin because it bites but never eats.
  • The worst thing about censorship is .
  • Echo: Only thing that cheats some out of the last word.
  • All humans things are subject to decay.
  • When all think alike, then no one is thinking.
  • Sorry, can’t think of an insult stupid enough for you
  • I’m a thinker, I think—stolen from Rusty Wallace.
  • Acting without thinking is like shooting without aiming.
  • When everyone thinks alike, then everyone is stupid.
  • Dan Quayle thinks that Cheerios are donut seeds.
  • An ass thinks one thing, his rider another.
  • Dan Quayle thinks that Cheerios are bagel seeds.
  • Of all thirty-six alternatives, running away is best.
  • To steal this tagline press <CTL> <ALT> <DEL> now.
  • What is this thing anyway? The Discordian Society?
  • Let’s win this one and go home. - George A. Custer
  • Pay attention! This is the mother of all taglines.
  • Where are those flashbacks they promised me?
  • Unless to thought is added will, Apollo is an imbecile.
  • Learning without thought is labor lost.
  • Suppress that thought!
  • there are three things that come next, uh four…
  • If you throw mud, you will have dirty hands.
  • Time takes time.
  • How many times do you need to be tolled anyway?
  • It’s easier to curse the candle than light the darkness.
  • Know when to fight and when to run.
  • It’s hard to believe it, but some teens are humans.
  • Seek not to follow footsteps but what they sought.
  • Women take to good hearted men. Also from.
  • It’s stupid to continue doing what doesn’t work.
  • Teaching: Appearing to have known your subject forever.
  • It’s okay to call someone stupid; just don’t prove it.
  • Being able to say NO is the root to reclaiming your life.
  • Man’s inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn.
  • Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
  • I used to read books. Now I read .qwk files.
  • I’d like to live like a poor person with lots of money.
  • I hate to repeat gossip, so I’ll only say this once
  • too stupid to know what I’m involved in.
  • Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
  • Self-sacrifice: to sacrifice others without blushing.
  • I want to live with a synonym girl…
  • It’s OK to wear the same thing every day: a smile.
  • Travel important today; IRS men arrive tomorrow.
  • I am tolerant of your (fruitcake) beliefs
  • A hen tomorrow is more valuable than an egg today.
  • Don’t think too far beyond your next meal.
  • To be too clever is to be stupid.
  • I’ve got too many hands on my time!
  • If you’re too old to learn, you were born so.
  • He has too many lice to feel an itch.
  • An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
  • It’s a tragedy that no man become like their mothers.
  • It’s a tragedy that no man becomes like his mother.
  • MacIntosh:Computer with training wheels you can’t remove.
  • Birds are trapped by their feet, people by their tongues.
  • A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit.
  • Silly rabbit, tricks are for hookers!
  • Hollywood: A trip through a sewer in a glass bottom boat.
  • Beware of true believers you may be duped by a false god.
  • A little truth helps the lie go down.
  • All great truths began as blasphemies. G B Shaw
  • That’s right, try hard to be good at the game of life.
  • If you try to be too sharp, you will cut yourself.
  • Wanna giggle? Try (EDITOR=EDLIN !) in anything.
  • The Caldecott Tunnel has less traffic than that vagina.
  • We have two ears and one tongue, use them likewise.
  • It takes two to make a bargain.
  • Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.
  • Stupid: Being unable to find your own butt in the dark.
  • Better to understand little than misunderstand a lot.
  • Who would understand youth must know old age.
  • Originality is undetected plagiarism.
  • EXPERT - Some unknown drip under pressure.
  • Don’t give up the ship! Give up the captain.
  • Speed things up, make pre-aged wine from old raisins.
  • I give up..push me that hollow log!
  • I give up..push me that hollow log!
  • All those updates, and still imperfect!!!
  • Few of us can stand prosperity – someone else’s.
  • Genealogy: tracing us back to the same brother and sister
  • Some of us just die, others of us live on.
  • You may use this tagline 30 days before registering.
  • Resistance Is Useless! If you have no volts or amps.
  • Actions are usually right, but the reasons seldom are.
  • Be vewy, vewy quite…I’m hunting tagwines!
  • An accommodating vice is better than an obstinate virtue.
  • The only victory over love is flight. Napoleon
  • C’est la vie.
  • Art is vision not expression.
  • Raising your voice does not reinforce your argument.
  • A slap vs a slog is like a ribbon vs an obi.
  • Are you waiting for your prey?
  • Sometimes I wake up grumpy…other times I let her sleep.
  • If you want my advice, pay me!
  • if you want someone to keep a secret, keep it yourself.
  • You might want to get a band-aid for that..
  • If you want to hide your face, walk naked.
  • I don’t want it now, I want it RIGHT now!
  • As I was going up the stair, I met a man who wasn’t there
  • His face was filled with broken commandments.
  • Your sin, was it of omission, commission, or emission?
  • The best water doesn’t come in fancy bottles.
  • Flattery: Cologne water, to smell but not swallow.
  • The wrong way always seems the more reasonable.
  • The best way to save face is to keep the lower part I’m
  • The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it
  • The only way to judge the future is by knowing the past.
  • The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
  • The best way to save face: keeping the lower part shut.
  • The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut.
  • Where did we all come from in the first place?
  • By trying we can learn to endure another’s adversity.
  • Tips: Wages we pay other people’s hired help.
  • With foxes we must play the fox.
  • In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
  • Retreat hell! We’re just fighting in another direction.
  • Some are weather-wise, some are otherwise.
  • Smoking cures weight problems… eventually…
  • OK, I’m weird! But I’m saving up to become eccentric.
  • OK, I’m weird! But I’m saving up to be eccentric.
  • Whatever is well conceived can be well expressed.
  • To live well, know the difference between good and evil.
  • If I were here more often, I wouldn’t be gone so much.
  • Black holes were created when God divided by zero.
  • If this were an actual tagline, it might be funny.
  • If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
  • If this were an actual tagline, it might be funny.
  • If I were you, who’d be me?
  • Camels have wet dreams too.
  • Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
  • Regardless of what you may think, this is NOT a tagline.
  • Be alert! What this world needs is more lerts.
  • Youthful figure: What you get when asking a woman’s age.
  • Yeah, but what’s the speed of DARK?
  • I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul.
  • Modesty died when false modesty was born. Mark Twain
  • Be careful when slinging mud, you might lose ground!
  • Nobody notices when things go right, and I’m noticed.
  • Nobody notices when things go right, I’m always noticed.
  • It is when you take for yourself that you truly take.
  • Middle age: When your age starts to show at your middle.
  • San Francisco: where NOBODY eats Rice-a-Roni!
  • Lunatic asylum: where optimism most flourishes.
  • Hospitals: Places where the run down wind up.
  • No matter where you go, there you are.
  • Friend: Anyone who has the same enemies you have.
  • Genius: One who can do anything except earn a living.
  • I am who I pretend to be
  • Criminal: One who gets caught.
  • Bigamist: One who makes the same mistake twice.
  • A hen who lays an egg cackles as if it was an asteroid.
  • Bring the whole family…but leave the kids at home!
  • Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.
  • Ever wonder why Oprah spelled backwards is Harpo?
  • Bigamy: One wife too many. Monogamy: Same idea…
  • A bigot will not reason, a fool cannot, a slave dare not.
  • One crow will not peck out another crow’s eyes.
  • Enough research will tend to support your theory.
  • Have Stock? Will Broker…
  • The flogging WILL continue until the morale improves!
  • Anybody can win, unless there is a second entry.
  • When no wind blows, even the weather vane has character.
  • I use windows…on my car, on my house, but not on my…
  • ;-) Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious remark.
  • The only winner of the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.
  • This fellow’s wise enough to play the fool.
  • A worthless wise man always charms the rabble.
  • A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a moose.
  • Difficult? I wish it had been impossible!
  • The mouse with a single hole is quickly caught by the cat
  • The trouble with a kitten is that, eventually it’s a cat.
  • Never agree with me, it shakes my self confidence.
  • Fountains mingle with the river, rivers with the ocean.
  • Never Argue With a Skunk, Mule, Woman or a SysOp.
  • A person without a navel lives within all of us.
  • Some men without a god are like fish without bicycles.
  • An actor without buck teeth can play the Easter Bunny.
  • A day without sunshine is like night.
  • A day without sunshine is like night.
  • The UARTs won’t take this speed, Captain.
  • Software independent: Won’t work with ANY software.
  • Synonym: A word you use when you can’t spell the other.
  • Once uttered, words run faster than the horses i bet on.
  • Your sweet words suck the morning dew off the honeysuckle
  • Words, words, words. And no place to put them all!
  • 3 dreaded words: hard disk failure
  • No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard.
  • If it works, it must be obsolete..
  • Solution Series: Works for Windows, Publisher and Money
  • The living world is a continuum in each and every aspect.
  • What’s the world coming to when your monitor stares back.
  • In this world a man must either be anvil or hammer.
  • Surprise the world. Get to work on time today.
  • Attack long worms from the rear - that is so much safer!
  • Trust me, would I lie to you….. TWICE?
  • A well-written life is as rare as a well-spent one.
  • ((wrong && wrong) != right)
  • I only wrote the thing, I don’t have to understand it!
    • :-X User’s lips are sealed.
  • There’s a Yankee in my closet - will trade for skeleton
  • Boot & ye shall see. Replace & all will be made clear.
  • But, if ye wish her gratefu’ prayer, Gie her a haggis!
  • A leap year is never a good sheep year.
  • A leap year is never a good sheep year.
  • Please don’t yell at me. I’m new at this.
  • But once you are real, you can’t become unreal again.
  • Sir Lancelot, you have chain mail in Knight’s Conf
  • Do well, you hear it never. Do ill, hear it forever.
  • Remember…………….. Wherever you go, there you are.
  • Without fingers you cannot even thumb your nose.
  • Hey man, you can’t prove NUTHIN’. I was at home.
  • The more you run over a cat, the flatter is gets.
  • We hired you to baby sit. You cooked and ate them BOTH?
  • Drink! for you know not whence you came, nor why…
  • Drink! for you know not why you go, nor where..
  • Praise: What you receive when you are no longer alive.
  • Teamwork gives you someone else to blame.
  • Think and you won’t sink.
  • Psychic Con: You know where and when
  • Bomb #20, you’re out of the bomb bay again!
  • Always remember you’re unique - just like everyone else.
  • Blessed our young they will inherit our national debt.
  • Shake off your heavy trance! And leap into a dance.
  • Only in your dreams are you really free.
  • Put on your seatbelt. I’m gonna try something new.
  • Stick to your talent and the cows will be well tended.
  • Let’s see your tagline hunting permit, sir.
  • To keep your milk sweet, leave it in the cow.
  • Mister! Here’s your mule!
  • Don’t hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.
  • Look into yourself to discover your first priority.
  • Ivo Andric - Yugoslavia’s First Nobel Laureate.