The Performance Review Demystified
- ___ The S.O.B. really knows his $h!t.
- ___ Knows just enough to be dangerous.
- ___ Only has half a brain and is dangerous.
- ___ Brain damage. His coffee cup has a higher I.Q.
- ___ Does excellent work if not preoccupied with sexual fantasies.
- ___ Pretty good, only occasionally blows it out his @$$.
- ___ Has to take off his shoes to count higher than ten.
- ___ Couldn’t count his balls and get the same answer twice.
- ___ Really dependable little #@*%.
- ___ Can rely on him at evaluation time.
- ___ Can rely on him to be the first one out the door.
- ___ Totally and completely worthless.
- ___ Extremely cooperative (kisses @$$ frequently).
- ___ Brown noser in poor standing.
- ___ Often pisses off co-workers. Thinks that’s his job.
- ___ Doesn’t give a $h!t; never did; never will.
- ___ Extremely neat, spends a lot of time combing his hair.
- ___ Looks great at evaluation time.
- ___ Dirty, Filthy, Smelly Son Of a Gun.
- ___ Flies leave fresh dog crap to follow him.
- ___ Goes like lightning if there’s money in it.
- ___ Does okay around evaluation time.
- ___ Works only if kicked every two minutes.
- ___ Couldn’t do less work if he was in a coma.
- ___ Carries a chainsaw and gets good results.
- ___ Occasionally gets told to back off.
- ___ Mother Teresa would have told him to kiss off.
- ___ Couldn’t lead a pack of hungry wolves to fresh meat.