SLMR Taglines

1500 taglines for the off- line mail reader SLMR!

Eschew obfuscation!
Not now … I have to go mow the laundry.
I think … therefore I am overqualified.
- 8 :-) User is a wizard.
Before advising Be yourself! reassess his character.
God said, Let Newton be! and all was light. Pope
Damn your Once more for old times sake..
You tell ’em Cucumber, I’ve been pickled.
You tell ’em cabbage, You’ve got the head.
You tell ’em Dough, You’re well bred.
You tell ’em Clock, You’ve got the time.
You tell ’em Church Bell, I told you.
You tell ’em Cigarette, You’re lit up.
You tell ’em Custard Pie, You’ve got the crust.
You tell ’em Hard-Boiled Egg, You’re hard to beat.
You tell ’em Gambler, You’ve got winning ways.
You tell ’em Doctor, You’ve got the patience.
You tell ’em Dictionary, You’re full of information.
You tell ’em Dentist, You’ve got the pull.
You tell ’em Goldfish, You’ve been around the globe.
You tell ’em Envelope, You’re well posted.
You tell ’em Butcher, You’ve got a lot of tongue.
You tell ’em Chloroform, You can put them to sleep.
You tell ’em Hunter, I’m game.
You tell ’em Cashier, I’m a poor teller.
You tell ’em Bean, He’s stringing you.
You tell ’em, Bald Head, You’re smooth.
You tell ’em Bank, You’re safe.
You tell ’em Banana, You’ve been skinned.
You tell ’em Horse, You carry a tale.
You tell ’em Brake, You’ve got the drag.
You tell ’em Cat, That’s what you’re fur.
You tell ’em Electricity, You can shock ’em.
You tell ’em calendar, You’ve got lots of dates.
You tell ’em Cemetery, You are so grave.
You tell ’em Manicurist, I’ve been trimmed.
You tell ’em Simon, I’ll Legree.
You tell ’em teacher, You’ve got the class.
You tell ’em Owl, You’re wise.
You tell ’em June, And don’t July.
You tell ’em Skyscraper, You have more than one story.
You tell ’em Printer, I’m not your type.
You tell ’em Railroad, It’s not along my line.
You tell ’em playing cards, You know the joker.
You tell ’em September Morn, No one has anything on you.
You tell ’em Piano, You’re upright and square.
You tell ’em Shoemaker, You know awl.
You tell ’em Operator, You’ve got their number.
You tell ’em Mountain, I’m only a bluff.
You tell ’em Submarine, I can’t seaplane.
You tell ’em Moon, You’re out all night.
(A)bort (R)etry (I)nfluence with large hammer.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (S)mack the @#$&*~ thing!
- <|-) User is Chinese.
Luxury: Costs $7.69 to make and $20.00 to market.
- :-* User just ate something sour.
Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue …
One person’s <grin> is another’s <groan>.
<tap> <tap> <tap> Is this thing on?
Philosophic enjoyment = mutual misunderstanding.
Spaghetti code = job security.
Be right & fear no man.Don’t write & fear no woman
2 x 4 bbs - a basic board.
Buy a 486-33 you can reboot faster..
10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… (Bo Dereck getting older)
- :-9 User is licking his/her lips.
Dachshund: Half a dog high by a dog and a half long.
There isn’t a door which can stop a lover or a cat
Reality: Only a concept and the home of the brave.
Is evil a child of the nature or the nurture?
Judge not a carpenter on how fast chips fly.
Today is a day for making firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?
Each day a day goes by.
I lost a button hole today.
Fishing is a delusion surrounded by liars in old clothes.
I had a dislocated funny bone, <OUCH> but it’s better now
A book, a friend, a song, a glass, a chaste loving lass
Freedom is a hard-bought thing - A gift no man can give.
That’s not a bug, that’s a feature.
Life has a great deal up its sleeve.
Epitaph on a gravestone: Cheerio, see you soon.
Dancing with a grass widow brings on hay fever.
Evil is a hill. We stand on ours, speak about others.
It’s only a hobby … only a hobby … only a.
Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
To be a human without passion is to be dead.
Fishing rod: a hook at one end, a fool at the other.
This is a brag line?????
America is a dream to most of the world.
Nobody has a good enough memory to make an excellent liar
Everyone is a genius at least once a year.
Security is a game but the final goal is never reached.
To be a Californian means to have faults others don’t.
I know a good tag line when I steal one.
Monotheism is a gift from the gods!
Money is a good servant but a bad master.
This is a good day to let down old friends who need help.
NOW is a point in time that is already gone.
Life is a kind of trick.
Everything’s got a moral if only you can find it.
That was a pointing device? My cat thought it was dinner.
Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast
To climb a ladder, you begin with the first rung.
Morality is a private and costly luxury.
None but a mule denies his family.
Tact: Recalling a lady’s birthday but forgetting her age.
What is a lie but the truth in masquerade. Byron
Just got a new car for my wife..
He says a thousand pleasant things, but never Adieu.
A man’s a man for a’ that! Burns
Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist! *
It was a night like this, 40 million years ago.
Theater: Holding a mirror up to a keyhole.
Let’s have a little fun, let’s do a pun.
Man is a piece of the universe made alive. Emerson
Fame: Chiefly a matter of dying at the right moment.
Civilization is a movement, it is a voyage not a harbor.
What’s in a name, anyway? Everything!!!!!!
Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.
Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.
He is a self-made man, and worships his creator.
There is a skeleton in every old house.
It is a sin peculiar to people to hate their victims.
He is a sheep in sheep’s clothing.
Don’t be a snob. Never lie when truth is more profitable.
Never trust a skinny cook.
Isn’t there a statute of limitations on stupidity?
Why would a wood chuck want to chuck wood anyway?
Language is a virus from outer space.
America is a tune. It must be sung together.
Life is a tragedy for feelers and a comedy for thinkers.
A pest: A friend in need.
True Terror: A female Klingon with PMS.
The World: A comedy for thinkers; a tragedy for feelers.
Happy couple: A deaf husband and a blind wife.
An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
Behind an able man, there are always other able men.
Beam me aboard, Scotty. Sure. Will a 2x10 do?
I wish Adam had died with all his ribs in his body.
We ask advice but we mean approbation.
Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it.
Manuals out, after all possible keystrokes have failed.
At all ages you are certain you still have another year.
A yer ago I kudnt spel progrmer now I are won.
If it ain’t borken, don’t fix it.
My mind ain’t so open that anything can crawl right in.
Society like air, is necessary but not complete for life.
Look at all the Indians! - General Custer
Since we all move so slow, why is it called rush hour?
Moderation in all things should be practiced sparingly.
Love conquers all things except poverty and toothaches.
Genealogy: It’s all relative in the end anyway!
43% of all statistics are totally worthless !!!
We are all related…relatively speaking
Let art alone. She’s got enough guys sleeping with her.
One lie always leads to another.
You can always make room for one more. Except a new baby.
The sun always rises on the most tired people.
Hello, I am part number ????????????????.
HELP! Protect America’s children, soil, and water today.
Even happiest amoebae lack sexual organs.
When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.
Power is an illusion; only stupidity is real.
Today, take an astronaut to launch.
Sharper than an asp’s tooth to have a thankless child.
Life is an onion and one peels it crying.
Shame is an ornament to the young, a disgrace to the old.
I’m writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Human Being: An ingenious assembly of portable plumbing.
Window-screen: An arrangement for keeping flies in.
Be mischievous and creative, if they fit you.
A programmer and his mind are soon parted
Our first and last love is – self-love. Bovee
The hole and the patch should be commensurate.
Speak braggarts and you speak of those lacking something
Do well and you will have no need for ancestors.
Without love and trust all you can be in life is alone.
Men die and worms eat them - but not for love Shake
Your Yin and Yang are no longer on speaking terms.
Talking is another disease of age.
The shortest answer is doing.
Never trust anyone who speaks well of everyone.
Youngsters remember anything if it happened or not.
Round numbers are always false.
Some thoughts are best guillotined before actions result.
Young gorillas are friendly, but they soon learn.
Old birds are hard to pluck.
All clowns are masked, all personae flow from choices
When we are not sure, we are alive.
All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.
Closed eyes are not always sleeping.
All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.
How wise are they that are but fools in love! Cooke
When puns are outlawed only outlaws will have puns
Lean books are often larded with the fat of others’ works
Good manners are the lubricant of social intercourse.
Irregular verbs are on sale in the bargain basement.
Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
Some cures are worse than the disease.
Religious people are wicked, how would they be without?
The only argument with the wind is to put on a coat.
Beware! I’m armed and have suffered from PMS all my life.
The best armor is to keep out of range.
JUST ROOTIN’ AROUND.
Art for art’s sake is a philosophy of the well-fed.
As long as I live, I shall be, myself, no other, just me.
Nobody is as deaf as those who will not to hear.
I sighed as a lover, I obeyed as a child.
As easy as 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841.
Paranoia isn’t as much fun as it used to be.
You learn as much by writing as you do by reading.
We are as made by God us, and often a great deal worse.
The world, as we know it, has come to an end!!
Kiss my ASCII
Charity begins at home, and mostly ends where it begins.
DANGER! Human at keyboard!
Forgotten men at the bottom of the economic pyramid FDR
Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
To excel at what you do, you must love doing it.
Meaningless tagline attached to pointless message.
Cow’s breath attracts mosquitoes and tsetse flies!
When the bad combine, the good must associate.
Man’s the bad child of the universe. Oppenheim
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
Movement To Ban Silly Tag Lines; Send Donations to:
Marriages are based on believing you won the arguments.
Cogito ergo Batman – I think, therefore I BLAM!
Holy Razorblades, Batman! That was a close shave!
Woman must be a genius to create a good husband. Balzac
Many would be cowards if they had courage enough.
It will be done on time, if I can find the time.
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
You may be Southern – but you’re no Comfort.
Nobody can be just like me.
I can’t be stupid, I completed third grade!
I can’t be overdrawn, I still have checks!
You cannot be too careful in the choice of your enemies.
Nobody can be like me. Even I have trouble doing so.
I may be stupid, but that still makes me smarter than you
Contraceptives: to be used on all conceivable occasions.
Biography should be written by an acute enemy.
Scotty! Hurry! Beam me uragg^*??? NO CARRIER
It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood,…
Surly to bed, and surly to rise.
Today has been a long year!!!!!!!!!!
Where you’ve been means much less than where you’re going
She has been under more drunken sailors than a head.
Shake well before use …
Think carefully before wishing, it might just come true.
90% of being smart is knowing what you’re dumb at.
No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn’t work anyway.
We must believe in free will. We have no choice.
A thief believes that everybody steals.
Every idiot believes that they are Cassandra.
Seeing is believing, Touching is convincing..
Living: The best demonstration of victory over mortality.
I’ve had BETA days … and nights!!!
It works better if you plug it in AND THEN turn it on.
It works better if you plug it in where it should be.
It is better to know useless things than to know nothing.
It is better to know nothing than to know what ain’t so.
Prevention is better than cure.
Persons reading between the lines do so at their own risk
When choosing between two evils, select the newer one.
The highest bidder catches the most politicians.
ZMODEM has bigger bits, softer blocks, and tighter ASCII.
Even the blind can see money.
Indiscriminate study bloats the mind.
The best blood at times gets into fools and mosquitoes.
Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Every hard-boiled egg is yellow inside.
Gnaw the bone which has fallen to thy lot.
I’m so bored, I’m starting to miss my husband.
Hick: Looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
ROM wasn’t built in a day.
Talking of bulls is not like being in the bull ring.
FLASH Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
God gave burdens shoulders also.
It’s nobody’s business, not even mine.
God heals, but always someone else wants a fee.
Love truth but pardon error.
Honesty pays, but not enough for some.
We’re lost, but we’re making good time.
A belly button is for salt when you eat celery in bed.
People will buy anything that’s one to a customer.
Money can’t buy happiness, but allows a choice of misery.
Dollars cannot buy yesterday.
Mosquito: Designed by God to make flies seem better.
Everyone lives by selling something. - R.L. Stevenson
To the Caliph I am dirt, but to dirt, I am Caliph.
Forget RTFM - Call The Author At Home!
Blond Mating Call: Oh, I’m so drunk [giggle]!!
Only hey can conquer who believe they can.
A gentleman can disagree without being disagreeable.
The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
No medicine can cure a vulgar person.
Gen. Custer, can I be excused for this afternoon?
Sure I can help you out! Which way did you come in?
Those who can, Do. Those who can’t, call it a KLUDGE.
Any day can be the beginning of a new year.
Those who can, Do. Those who can’t, Criticize.
A problem can be found for almost every solution.
Those who can, do; Those who can’t, simulate..
Blaming others can become a satisfying way of life.
Only I can tell where my own shoe pinches me.
No one can think clearly with clenched fists.
No wonder can last more than three days.
Any fool can tell the truth, it takes sense to lie well.
Now where can you find one, nicer than this..
If you can touch it and you can see it, it’s REAL
When we can’t dream the time for death has arrived.
Fiction: It can’t hold a scandal to biography.
If you can’t bite, don’t show your teeth.
If you can’t make it good, make it big.
When you can’t make it GOOD, make it BIG!
If you can’t make it work, make a statistic of it.
If one cannot catch a bird of paradise, grab a wet hen.
Russian Express Card motto: Don’t leave home!
Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Drop your carrier…We have you surrounded!
Halt and catch fire!
Cities, like cats, will reveal themselves at night.
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
En boca cerrada no entran moscas.
The only certainty is that nothing is certain.
All things change, nothing is extinguished.
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
My reality check just bounced.
So dumb: Chewing the stick, not sucking the lollipop.
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
That should clear out your sinuses.
Clever father, clever daughter; clever mother, clever son
You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories.
Wear old clothes when you fight for truth and liberty.
A rooster clucks defiance – but a lawyer ….
f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng
Try cooling coffee by holding it closer to your heart.
The wildest colts make the best steeds.
Blessings never come in pairs; misfortunes never alone.
O Oysters come and walk with us, the Walrus did beseech.
Dogmatism: Puppyism come to its full growth.
Mischief all comes from too much opening of the mouth.
If worst comes to worst, you CAN turn most things off.
From listening comes wisdom, from speaking, repentance.
DANGER DANGER Computer store ahead…hide wallet.
What soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals.
Vulgarity: The conduct of others.
Youth + confidence + myopia = naivete.
Keyboard not connected, press <F1> to continue.
Madre que consiente engorda una serpiente.
Every person constructs their own bed of nails.
A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper its written on
Monologue: A conversation between realtor and prospect.
Are those cookies made with real Girl Scouts?
Shhhhhh…..the topic cops are coming
All power corrupts, but we need electricity.
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
Flattery is counterfeit money, circulated by vanity.
Pants: Trousers’ country cousins.
In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
The woman cries before the wedding; the man afterward.
Take two crows and caw me in the morning
The greatest cunning is to have none at all.
Assumption #1: Dan Quayle is smarter than broccoli.
It is dangerous to confuse children with angels.
It’s always darkest before you step on the cat.
Poker: It’s darkest just before you’ve drawn.
Here today, dawn tomorrow.
What a day may bring, a day may take away.
Yeah…and some day the sun will die out.
Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.
Nietzsche is Dead! - God
Frankly my dear, I don’t give a download! -Rhett Sysop
In making decisions, recall that the trend is a friend.
What youth deemed crystal, age finds was dew.
The best defense against logic is stupidity.
<<< Tagline deleted by Natl Endowment for the Arts >>>
…. a deluge of words and drop of sense.
Genealogy. Tracing descent from someone who didn’t.
Who’s the designated driver? This mouse is loaded!
Modem…. A deterrent to phone solicitors.
Celery raw develops a jaw. But stewed, is quietly chewed
SHIN - A device for finding furniture in the dark.
So where did we all come from??????
No, I didn’t. - Teddy Kennedy
If I die, I forgive you, if I recover, we shall see.
Postmen never die, they just lose their zip.
A true diplomat struts sitting down.
The hard disk you save may be your own.
My Hard Disk went on a diet and lost it’s FAT
The shortest distance between two puns: a straight line.
If you do drink and drive don’t smoke.
Incorrigible punster – do not incorrige!
You can’t do that. It’s been digitally cursed.
Lotus executives do not wear Look & Feel T shirts.
Good printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.
What’s up doc?
The best doctor is the one you run for and can’t find.
Don’t trust doctors, they once said you were sane.
Daddy. What does Formatting Drive C: mean?
No one does as much harm as one going about doing good.
For whom, does the gun toll for…t
What good does it do an ass to be called a lion?
The truth doesn’t hurt unless it ought to.
To a dog his owner is Napoleon; hence their popularity.
A good dog barks when told.
People, not dogs, sell their souls for money or power.
We’re off doing beta, the wonderful beta of oooz
Backups? We don’ NEED no steenking baX%^~,VbKx!
If you don’t care where you are, then you can’t get lost.
If you don’t fall down, you’re not trying!
If you don’t eat garlic, they’ll never smell it on you.
I’m flexible.just don’t change anything.
Two writes don’t make a novel!
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
Humpty Dumpty DOS - Just a shell of himself.
It is double pleasure to deceive the deceiver.
When in doubt; Cheat !
Dare to dream and fight to keep that dream alive.
They who drink beer will think beer.
Foolish fears drive away good fortune.
Is this drive really moving with my head parked?
Se non e vero, e molto ben trovato.
Living on earth is better than loafing around Hades.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
It is easier to admire hard work if you don’t do it.
It is easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar.
Virtue is easy for an ugly woman.
It is easy to propose impossible remedies.
Save trees, eat beavers.
You can’t eat your friends and have them too.
Restaurant: An eating place that does not sell drugs.
Mr. Worf!! Eating Christmas Cookies, on my Bridge???
Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
Quien da el pan impone la ley.
Bad officials: elected by good citizens who fail to vote.
Women and elephants never forget. Parker
Women and elephants never forget real or supposed injury.
Wives and elephants never forget real or supposed injury.
Computers also eliminate spare time.
When all else is lost, the future still remains.
Remember, the end never justifies the meanness.
Where law ends, there tyranny begins.
Love your enemies – it makes them so damned mad.
Use your enemy’s hand to catch a snake.
A bachelor enjoys the chase but doesn’t eat the game.
A big enough hammer fixes anything
Misfortunes always enter a door left open for them.
Everyone IS entitled to my opinion.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
General stupidity error reading drive C
Madam, an error, we did a hysterectomy on your husband
Teamwork is essential it allows you to blame someone else
Do I even WANT ancestors? Some found I wish I could lose.
Nothing is ever constant, unless it is dead.
No person ever became wicked all at once.
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to restart?
At 19, everything is possible; tomorrow looks friendly.
To tolerate everything is to teach nothing.
Spring makes everything young again except humans.
Silence is evidence of a superb command of the language.
A living example of Artificial Intelligence.
Everything changes except change itself.
A noisy exhaust to some almost amounts to a mating call.
Defeat even explained well stinks.
Close your eyes and press escape three times.
- :-F Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing.
Help! I’ve fallen and can’t get up. A. Tree
He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
The Devil falls on account of his gravity.
If the family skeleton must remain, make it dance.
Being old fashioned is not necessarily good or better.
Error reading FAT Table..Try Skinny one ? (Y/N)
And when fate summons monarchs must obey;
Irony: Giving father a billfold for Christmas.
The greatest fault is to be conscious of none.
Sandwich: Any faulty attempt to make both ends meat.
Sandwich: An faulty attempt to make both ends meat.
Don’t be fazed by new fashions in anything.
Feather by feather the goose is plucked.
An appeaser feeds a crocodile, hoping to be eaten last.
Yes-men: Fellows who hang around the man nobody noes.
Collector: Person few care to see but ask to call again.
When you find anything that works, it usually fails.
If you find it, it is always in the last place you look.
Celebrate the first day you open the windows.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If at first you don’t succeed, re-format!
If at first you don’t succeed: Blame everyone else.
If at first you don’t succeed; Blame everyone else
If at first you doubt, doubt again.
If at first you don’t succeed, fall back and punt!
If at first you don’t exceed, try, try again.
If at first you doubt, doubt again, and again …
A word fitly spoken is like a beautiful apple of gold.
How time flies, when you are in a heap of problems..
Public opinion flourishes where there are no ideas.
Said the fly, Let us flee. Said the flea Let us fly.
Angels can fly since they take themselves lightly.
A learned fool is more foolish than an ignorant fool.
Look out for barking dogs that bite.
Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
Fear not, for I have given you authority
A penny for your thoughts; $20 to act it out.
Stulti timent fortunam sapientes ferunit.
Never lean forward to push an invisible object.
Those who fought for it know the true taste of freedom!
Reader not found, please notify tagline.
Backup not found: (P) Panic (Any Other Key) Panic.
COFFEE.COM not found: A)dd more, R)eheat F)reak out.
Backup not found: Abort, Retry, Massive heart failure?
A sleeping fox counts hens in his dreams.
What are friends for? - R.M. Nixon
Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.
The race from stupidity is to the driven, not the swift.
What results from using spot remover on your dog Spot?
Windows 3.0: From the people who brought you EDLIN.
The ripest fruit falls first..
Graveyards are full of the indispensable.
Sysoping: More fun than being beaten with a sledgehammer.
Wedding: A funeral where you smell your own flowers.
All your future lies beneath your hat.
Beware of geeks bearing GIFs!
Men, in general, are but great great children Napoleon
Every person gets to heaven in their own way.
Quick! Operator! Give me the number for 911!
A gun gives you the body, not the bird.
Politics: The glad hand and the marble heart.
When you go to the market, use your eyes, not your ears.
Nothing can go wrong…go wrong…go wro*%$@# NO CARRIER
Women’s clothes: Go to extremes, seldom to extremities.
Beware when God lets loose a thinker on this planet.
Since life goes on - you might as well get on with it.
Silver and gold make even pigs seem clean.
Nickel: Once good for getting the wrong number with.
Greed is good, greed works.
Modesty is good bait when fishing for praise.
Let no good deed go unpunished.
Be as good at receiving as you are at giving.
The only GOOD Romulan is a DEAD Romulan.
Garbage in, Gospel out!
I finally got it all together, but forgot where I put it
I Just got stopped by the LAPD and boy am I beat!
When you gotta go, you gotta go!
Love – a grave mental disease. Plato
Call waiting, great if you have two friends
Make two grins grow where there was only a grouch before.
Jury: A group chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
Many foxes grow gray, but few grow good.
We NEVER grow up, we just get older, and older, and …
The mind grows by what it feeds upon.
A woman’s guess is more accurate than a man’s certainty.
SYSOP: The guy that is laughing at your typing!
Old McDonald had a computer with EIA I/O.
The child had every toy his father wanted.
Oh well, half of one, six dozen of the other.
Only the hand that erases can write the true thing.
This open hand of desire wants everything.
It is hard to believe that even his friends like him.
Funny thing…. harder I work, luckier I get!
Every crowd has a silver lining.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Every politician has a price, some hold bargain sales.
An atheist has no invisible means of support.
Ancient custom has the force of law.
ATTENTION …………..Elvis has left the echo.
Beauty faded has no second spring.
Don’t steal…..Politicians hate competition.
Every why hath a wherefore.
The law hath not been dead, though it hath slept. Shake
The worst hatred is that of relatives.
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
Straight trees have crooked roots.
Little pitchers have wide ears.
Today I have grown taller from walking with the trees.
Radioactive cats have 18 half lives….
I may have my faults, but being wrong ain’t one of them.
I would have suffered a lot more if understood.
I don’t have to look up my family tree. I’m the sap
A thick head can do as much damage as a hard heart.
Those without heads do not need hats.
Penguin: The headwaiter of the Antarctic.
Ignore your health and it will go away.
Follow your heart and let your head take care of itself.
Is this Heaven… No. Smell, its Iowa
The only heavy breathing I ever hear is after aerobics.
What the heck just happened here?
Even hairless heiresses are always beautiful.
She devotes her spare time to neglecting duties.
Drama in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.
To love her was a liberal education. Steele
You aren’t here forever, Enjoy each day as a miracle.
It is hereditary in my family to have no children.
I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air.
In human history, most leaders prove to be good bleeders.
Where do honey bees go potty? At a BP station naturally.
Abandon all hope, ye who press ??? here
You realize how short a month when you pay alimony.
Homo sum; humani nihil a me alienum puto.
I’m more humble than you are!
I think I got it made and they throw something else at me
Oh could I fly, I’d fly with thee …
Every time I have answers, someone changes the questions!
Of course I can cook, but I never do it on the first date
Ever since I gave up hope, I feel much better.
I/O I/O IT’S WRITE TO DISK I GO I/O I/O
Bubble, Bubble.Am I too late to jump the ship ??
I came; I saw; I screwed up.
How do I set my Laser Printer to Stun?
I owe, I owe, so off to work I go…
No Commander, I meant the OTHER battleship.
Just when I make ends meet, someone moves one!
Art is I; Science is We.
Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a tagline writer.
Don’t worry, I’m fluent in weirdo
Don’t shoot! I’m only the Casio player!
Every valuable idea offends someone.
Words and ideas are what change our world.
Hero-worship: Idol gossip.
Simple rule: If you don’t treat me right, shame on you.
Without my ignorance, your knowledge would be meaningless
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
We are immortal, but only for a very limited time.
Mistrust first impulses, they are always good.
We are in bondage to the law so that we may be free.
A person in a passion rides a mad horse.
So crowded in here, I must go outside to change my mind!
Engraving is, in brief terms, the art of scratch.
Rational information in arguments not permitted here!
A nose in artificial manure is not studying nature.
BOLDLY start in REVERSE, cause that’s the GENEALOGY way!
It runs in the blood like wooden legs.
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
The fish in the sea are as good as the fish removed.
As lacking in privacy as a goldfish.
To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.
Usually insane; in lucid moments merely stupid.
The characters in this message are recyclable
A bird in the hand’s better than one overhead.
A pain in the butt may be a friend in need.
A bird in the bush can’t make a mess in your hand.
Mountains culminate in peaks, and nations in people.
Notice: All incoming fire has the right of way.
Meetings are indispensable for not doing anything.
Dulce bellum inexpertis.
Due to inflation, all clouds will now be lined with zinc.
I’m as innocent as a new-laid egg.
Beep! Invalid Input. I take only cash….
Scrute the inscrutable; eff the ineffable.
Outside noisy, inside empty.
It’s what inside you, not the outside that counts.
Repartee: An insult with a suit and tie on.
Cynicism is intellectual dandyism.
Instinct is intelligence incapable of self-consciousness.
Any socialism involves more slavery than democracy.
Iron sharpens iron; scholar, the scholar.
All reality is aspect dependent.
The world is coming to an end!
If this is a battle, then you have already lost.
Herman Hollerith is buried 9 edge, face down.
Old age is better than the alternative.
An optimist is a guy without much experience..
The world is a beautiful book, for those who can read it.
Running Windows is better than washing them.
One who is in peril thinks with their legs.
A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
Any certainty is a delusion.
Good luck is a lazy man’s estimate of a worker’s success.
A farmer is always going to be rich next year.
No answer is also an answer.
Well begun is half done.
To err is human, to forgive is against company policy!
To err is human, to forgive.. unlikely.
This discussion is hanging by a thread.
Our future is always uncertain our end is always too near
A miser is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor.
A newspaper is a collection of half-injustices
A miser is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor.
A hen is an egg’s way of making another egg.
To err is Human, but to blame someone else is politics.
A jug is carried under your coat for a dishonest reason.
Where there is a stink feces there is the odor of being.
A person is a lion in his own cause.
If thou is a artist, how does one grasp your art?
This door is baroque; please call Bach later.
A yawn is a silent shout.
This machine is an instrument of terror
One who is always in a stew generally goes to pot.
This universe is a figment of it’s own imagination.
The city is not a concrete jungle. It is a human zoo.
A crappie is not a sunfish found in a toilet.
A mother is not a dust rag.
The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only heavier
The world is like a cactus except the pricks are inside.
Education which is not modern, faces the organic fate.
The consumer is not a moron, it is your spouse.
Where there is no shame, there is no honor.
Judicial reform is no sport for the short-winded.
The sun is never the worse for shining on a dunghill.
A book is the only immortality.
The cinema is not a slice of life but a piece of cake.
Network management is like trying to herd cats…
Hmmm, When is the last time the Tooth Fairy visited you?
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
5? floppy is not better than 3? hard.
What grammar is to speech, logic is to reason.
This tagline is SHAREWARE! To register, send $20 …
This tagline is only for the living.
TV advertising is the rattling inside a swill bucket.
The truth is one thing that nobody will believe.
A shower is the halfway point between bed and world.
A lie is terminological inexactitude. Churchill
Every person is the architect of their own fortune.
Wasting time is one of the more important parts of life.
Applied emotion is the key to success with happiness.
Good taste is the flower of good sense.
The future is not what it used to be.
The pen is the tongue of the mind.
If life is just a bowl of cherries, throwing pits is OK.
The proof is the phylogeny of plant-animal interactions.
A hole is nothing, but you can break your neck in it.
Software, hardware, – is that you talking Sigmund?
Man: There is nothing more miserable and more arrogant.
The past is not what it will be.
A conclusion is where you got tired of thinking.
No generalization is wholly true, not even this one.
A father is usually a banker provided by nature.
Whatever it is, whenever it occurs, I’m against it!
This tagline is umop apisdn.
If Life Is A Highway… What’s The Queensway?
A liar isn’t believed even when he speaks the truth.
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
If it isn’t true, at least it is a happy invention.
Common sense isn’t.
Communication.. without it, everyone’s a mushroom.
Hams do it with frequency, till their GIGAHERTZ!
Priests Do It Faithfully With Masses
Oh that? It was playing leap frog with a unicorn.
Forget HIM it’s time to run a HER for president.
It’s love, it’s love that makes the world go round.
Ambition destroys its possessor.
History repeats itself because nobody listens
I’m incredibly jealous, but still glad for you.
Thousands of journeys have a start but no end.
With our judgements as our watches, none go just alike.
Success is just a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
Sysoping, not just an adventure, sometimes it’s emesis.
Your karma just ran over my dogma.
Don’t Panic! Just push the Reset button.
Too often justice is incidental to law and order.
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
A KGB keyboard has no <ESC> key!
Guns don’t kill people, off-line readers do.
It’s the kind of thing that makes people go Hmmmmmmm..
May we kiss those we please, and please those we kiss.
Not to know is bad, but not to wish to know is worse.
You must know much before you know how little you know.
The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
Tact is knowing how far to go in going too far.
The more known about people, the more to admire in dogs.
All the kookies are not in the jar.
–T-A+G-L-I+N-E–+M-E-A+S-U-R+I-N-G+–G-A+U-G-E–.
What orators lack in depth, they give in length.
Sub omni lapide scorpio dormit.
Hasten to laugh at everything lest you be obliged to weep
We must laugh at man, to avoid crying for him Napoleon
He who laughs last probably made a backup.
Fat heads, lean brains.
The wise learn more from fools than fools from the wise.
What is learned in youth is understood in age.
Remember to leave 15% for the tip of the iceberg.
Friends don’t let friends drive Fords!
Rumors love lies.
Men know life too early, women too late Wilde
Such is life.
Love is like a baseball game, four balls and you walk.
He bellows like a cow standing on her tit.
Cats are like furry dilettanti, or the reverse?
Love is like a baseball game, three strikes you’re out.
Hollywood is like Picasso’s bathroom.
Do you like me for my brain, or my BAUD?
Life is like Jazz, it should be improvised.
Even the lion has to protect himself against flies.
If people listened to themselves, they would shut up.
Man loves little and often, woman much and rarely.
Taxation is little more than legalized extortion.
Born crying, live complaining, die disappointed.
We all live in a yellow subroutine.
May you live all the days of your life. Swift
Life is lived forwards, but understood backwards.
If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
Dime de lo que blasonas, y te dire de lo quwe careces.
Unable to locate Coffee – Operator Halted!
Logic is logic. That’s all I say. Holmes
To live long, it is necessary to live slowly. Cicero
If U look close enough, the truth is hidden in the words.
That concept looks like a chicken in a windstorm.
I haven’t lost my mind..It must be backed-up somewhere.
Actions speak louder than words – but not so often.
Spongecake: Dessert made of borrowed ingredients.
OFF-line mail make sysop’s happy.
Computers don’t make mistakes, but foolish people do.
A teetotaller makes the worst drunkard.
Give the man a cigar!
Where no man has.. where no ONE has.. to hell with it!
Shake, a man of note, wrote so many things to quote.
Creditor: A man who has a longer memory than a debtor.
Self-made man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.
A great many family trees were started by grafting.
Wisdom of many and the wit of a half.
There are many ways to show affection.
Better to marry a man who loves you than one you love.
It doesn’t matter if you win, it’s the point spread.
Some settling may have occurred in shipping.
Caution: Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Beulah, peel me a grape.
As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.
Oh, pardon me, was that your culture? So sorry.
It is meaningless to speak of domesticating a child.
Uh, yeah…I MEANT to do that!
How much memory have you got? One brain, one memory.
A good memory is one trained to forget the trivial.
Malice is merely stupidity raised to a higher power.
We have met the enemy, and he’s all yours!
BBS: a method to triple your phone bill.
UNIX, the MF of all DOSes.
Strength of mind: Person who can eat one salted peanut.
Money: A mint makes it first and we try to make it last.
You obviously mistook me for someone who knows.
God dislikes money – look who he gives it to.
Silence is more eloquent at times than words.
Carelessness does more harm than a want of knowledge.
Not everything more difficult is more meritorious.
Evangelists do more than lay people.
Evangelists do more than lay people, sometimes …
Children have more need of models than of critics.
Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
The thing most generally raised on land is taxes.
Corruption. The most infallible symptom of liberty.
Pedestrian: The most approachable chap in the world.
A closed mouth gathers no flies.
Character is much easier kept than recovered.
California raisins murdered! Cereal killer suspected.
Most allies must be watched just like the enemy.
Oh captain! my captain! our fearful trip is done. WW
I’d give my left arm to be ambidextrous
Maytag is my middle name; I’m an agitator.
Please! Take my word for it.
Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can’t Find The Reverse Switch!
Angling: The name given to fishing by non-fishermen.
Hi. My name is Rover, I’ll paint your car yellow free.
Swell-head: Nature’s frantic effort to fill a vacuum.
No decorations necessary.
Quick, I need a tagline, let me steal yours
Civilized people need love for full sexual satisfaction.
I’m just needling you about the thread
Legal Marijuana needs true glaucoma patients.
Love thy neighbor, but keep the hedge in tact.
Love thy neighbor … just never get caught!!
Actions are neither as good nor as evil as impulses.
Old soldiers never die, they just fade away..
Old musicians never die, they just decompose.
Excess is never enough.
A person never tells you anything until contradicted.
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
Faint hearts never win in love nor sell life insurance.
Tabloid: A newspaper with a permanent crime wave.
Cleanliness is next to clean-limbed, in the dictionary.
I be nibble, you be quick, he jumped over the Joystick.
Stupidity is no excuse for not thinking.
There are no answers at best a few possibly good guesses.
There is no defense except stupidity against a new idea.
There is no joy in Mudville, mighty Casey has struck out.
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
Carasvemos, corazones no sabemos.
Happiness is no laughing matter.
Fax me no questions, I’ll Fax you no lies!
There is no such thing as bravery; only degrees of fear.
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned. Congreve
Stupidity has no limits, genius does.
This tagline no verb.
Brain damage? No thanks, I already have some.
Time goes? No. Alas time stays, we go.
A red nose can be the result of sunshine or moonshine.
Even a noseless dog can stink.
Please! Do not break character!
Earth was not earth before her sons appeared.
I am not a dictator. It’s just I have a grumpy face.
America was not discovered by Americans, shame on them.
Life is not a spectacle or a feast, it is a predicament.
Strange but not a stranger…
Words are not food, though sometimes we must eat them.
I am not an animal! I am … well, not an animal.
I may not be perfect, but I am all I got!
I am not arguing with you, I’m telling you.
Friendships are not always preserved in alcohol.
Read messages, not taglines!
Bastard toadflax: not the result nearsighted horny toads.
I do not pretend to know what the ignorant are sure of.
He is not only dull within, but causes dullness without.
Art does not reproduce the visible; it makes visible.
Ethics is not necessarily the handmaiden of theology.
Knowledge rests not on truth alone, but upon error also.
If it’s not worth doing, it’s not worth doing well.
I am not young enough to know everything.
If it’s not true, it’s quite easily found.
Oh, no! Not another learning experience!
Used Car: Not what it is jacked up to be.
I’m human: nothing human smells strange to me.
To do nothing is in every person’s power.
To risk nothing is to risk everything.
… Nobody notices when things go right.
To live now, first come to terms with your past.
Some nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men
Think hard now! Which one is Shinola?
F r o m the s l o w s p e a k e r s o f A m e r i c
An inch of dog is better than a mile of pedigree.
Be suspicious of all native-born Esperanto speakers.
The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth.
The cost of feathers has risen… Now even DOWN is up!
Too much of a good thing is wonderful. <Mae West>
Fiddle: Friction of a horse’s tail on a cat’s entrails.
Honesty: Fear of being caught.
The wife of a careless man is almost a widow.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing
Be suspicious of all native-born Esperanto speakers
A thing of beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
The tree of liberty is watered with the blood of tyrants.
A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck. Garfield
The welfare of the people is the chief law. Cicero
A ounce of pretension = a pound of manure!
Parents: One of the hardships of a minor’s life.
Biography: One of the terrors of death.
The purification of politics is an iridescent dream.
The Day of Judgement is approaching, or it is not.
The footprint of the owner is the best manure.
The course of true anything never does run smooth.
Man, born of woman is of few days; full of trouble. Job
The bird of war is not the eagle but the stork.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely
Non-fiction often is more unrealistic than fiction.
Beauty is often in the thighs of the beholder.
Ostrich: He often runs so fast he leaves himself behind.
Sure, when OINK FLAP OINK FLAP … I’ll be damned!
PCs are OK except when you use them as bowling balls.
Is it OK to yell ‘MOVIE’ in a crowded firehouse?
Adult: One old enough to know better.
To the old cat, the tender mouse.
A vote on the tally sheet is worth two in the box.
Be nice on your way up, you’ll meet on the way down.
Life is one long process of getting tired.
There’s always one more SOB than you counted on.
Smoking is one of leading causes of statistics.
Unbelief in one thing springs = blind belief in another.
Childish Game: One at which your spouse beats you.
Honest Politician: One who stays bought.
All for one; one for all; ME above all!
Misteaching: Telling one’s grandmother how to suck eggs.
Apology is only egotism wrong side out.
If youth only had a chance or old age any brains.
Age is only important if you’re a cheese.
Things could only be worse in Cleveland.
There is only one sure way to throw dice: away.
Postscript: The only thing of interest in some letters.
Yawn: The only time some men get to open their mouths.
Shareware it only works if you pay.
A lawyer’s opinion is worth nothing unless paid for.
Just My Opinion (But I’m Right!)
When uncertain, or in doubt, run in circles and scream.
Shut up, or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor.
Other times, other customs.
To understand other’s miseries, look at their pleasures.
Catastrophes to others are everyday events to you.
We make our own fortunes and call them our fate.
Chance makes our parents, but choice makes our friends.
The fewer our wants, the more we resemble the gods.
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
Take egotism out, and you castrate the benefactors.
It’s not over until the FAT table sings
Waiting to overcome all objections, results in nothing.
Too many pages make a tome.
A mother pampering a child is raising a serpent.
Minds, like parachutes, work only when open.
Watch out..the paranoids are after you!
The trodden path is the safest.
Diplomacy: The patriotic lying for one’s country.
Bless the peacemakers their work will never end.
A bonded penguin is a happy penguin !
Learning makes people fit company for themselves.
If three people say you are an ass, put on a bridle.
Nature, like people sometimes weeps for gladness.
Adversity makes people wise but not rich.
Two of perfect virtue: one dead, the other yet unborn.
Dios tarda pero no olvida.
Quien con perros se acuesta con pulgas se levanta.
A wise person sees as much as ought, not as much can.
Golfer: A person who hits and tells.
Hobo: A person who builds palaces and lives in shacks.
Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Kibitzer: A person with an interferiority complex.
An agreeable person: One who agrees with you.
Even a philosopher gets upset with a toothache.
Hey! Don’t pick up that pho?????????? NO CARRIER
Easy as pie, no fuss, no muss, no crust….
Zippy the pinhead is a twit
Bureaucracy: That place always in need of a laxative.
Subway: A place so crowded even men can’t all get seats.
Hotel: A place you give good dollars for bad quarters.
Laundry: A place where clothes are mangled.
Resort: A place where the tired grow more tired.
Celery farmers play the stalk market.
Prune: A plum that has seen better days.
It’s 11:56 pm. Do you know where your modem is?
Firmness in politics is called obstinacy in a donkey.
Pity the poor corpuscle, for he labors in vein.
It’s a poor cook who cannot lick his own fingers.
It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.
Sculptor: A poor unfortunate who makes faces and busts.
Time is precious, but truth is more so.
A jerk present in a group indicates a jerk in charge.
Don’t knock President Fillmore; he kept us out of VietNam
SYSTEM ERROR: press F13 to continue..
Solve the problems of the world: Vote anarchist.
Put off procrastinating till a later time.
A child prodigy knows not to bother with it.
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
Any given program, when running, is obsolete!
Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?
If you push something hard enough…
Resist being put in boxes.
Whenever Possible, Put People On Hold
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
Silly Wabbit, QWKs are for kids.
It always rains right after I wax philosophical.
Quoth the Raven, Eat My Shorts.
ROM instruction-Read Operators Mind
Not a real tagline, but an incredible soy substitute.
The only realities are the atoms and empty space.
For some, reality is an illusion.
Does it really matter which cola I drink?
Is wetter REALLY better?
Does anyone REALLY read these stupid taglines?
Reality.Sys corrupted – Reboot Universe (Y/N)?
Admiration: Polite recognition of self-reflection.
Hm..what’s this red button fo??????NO CARRIER
A Robin redbreast in a cage puts all heaven in a rage.
Some winners rely upon miracles without believing in them
Just cannot resist a little fun along the way. :-)
I can resist everything/anything except temptation.
I can resist everything except temptation.
Floppy not responding, Format HARD DRIVE instead? Y/N ?
Endocannibalism: The result of a really hungry cannibal.
We have resumed control…we have resumed control…
A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Only the rich have distant relatives.
Maybe it’s right to be nervous now…
Protect your right to arm bears!
Always do right: Gratify some and astonish the rest.
I never rise above the noise and confusion…
A male rite of passage: Writing your name in the snow.
Heads will roll!
Marriage, a romance but the hero dies in the 1st chapter.
A good rooster crows in any hen house.
The only roses without thorns are love and friendship.
Detour: The roughest distance between two points.
Money is round, it rolls away.
Hug: A roundabout way of expressing affection.
Philosophy: A route leading from nowhere to nothing.
All rivers run into the sea, yet the sea is not full.
Here I run, to steal the secret of the sun.
C program run… Run, program, run… PLEASE!!!
And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
And God said: E = ?mv? - Ze?/r …and there WAS light!
Actions from sanity are not necessarily from feeling.
If I save the whales, where do I keep them?
A dime saved is a dollar earned. The rest was Uncle Sam’s
A penny saved is a Congressional oversight.
Si jeunesse savoit, si vieillesse pouvoit.
Diplomacy is saying nice doggy until you find a rock.
Mr. Bullfrog says: Time is fun when you’re having flies.
Rainforest: a scarcity of animals a plethora of tourists.
A good scare is better than good advice.
I’m not schizophrenic, I’m multi-faceted.
UART?.. Me Science?
A fool searches for a greater fool to find admiration.
‘Tis the season to be punny……
Getting a second chance is never a certainty.
When you see a snake, never mind where he came from.
To avoid seeing a fool, break your mirror.
I have seen the future and it is now the past.
Have you seen my mind? It wandered again.<sigh>
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
The cautious seldom err.
Skeptics are seldom deceived.
Illustrate your Sermons! Wear far side ties.
They also serve who only stand and wait.
Mr. Bullfrog sez: Time is fun when you’re having flies.
I’m in shape … round’s a shape isn’t it?
Golden Rule: she who has the gold makes the rules.
A statesman shears the sheep; the politician skins them.
To whom should I go to for some self-help?
No person should govern another without their permission.
Every child should be given the desire to learn.
Every woman should marry – and no man. Disraeli
Little boats should keep near the shore.
Confucius say: Show-off always shown up in showdown.
!enif tsuj si gnihtyrevE
Couldn’t have sid it better myself!
The first sigh of love is the last of wisdom. Bret
A beard signifies lice, not brains.
Recognize the signs of spring.
There’s no skeletons in my closet!
They are slaves who fear to speak for the fallen & weak.
Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
A person slow to anger is better than the mighty.
Where’s there’s smoke, there’s toast.
That’s a smug aura of respectability you see in a mirror?
You spotted snakes with double tongue.. be not seen.
It was so cold, I almost got married.
Nothing is so smiple that it can’t get screwed up.
Earth: A solid substance, much desired by the seasick.
Be flexible, some things just take time.
Memory Manager: something I need more than my computer.
Redundancy is something I can do again and again….
Quick! Say something profound in 45 characters or le
Hot air sometimes thaws out a cold reception.
I’m terribly sorry, but I’m afraid you’re just a mirage.
Think much, speak little, and write less.
Since GOD spelled backwards is DOG, is my poodle Satan?
I spilled spot remover on my dog. He’s gone now.
HHeellpp!! II’‘mm ssttuucckk iinn hhaallff–dduupplleexx!
Keep cool, stand in front of an open refrigerator.
We have standards and expect you not to exceed them.
I just steal ’em, I don’t explain ’em.
The first step towards philosophy is incredulity.
You can’t step twice in the same river.
This tagline stolen by Silly Little Mail Reader!
A rolling stone is better than a bird in the hand.
Beneath every stone sleeps a scorpion.
The buck stops at the desk over there.
Misery brings strange bedfellows.
Bedfellows make strange politicians.
Facts are stubborn things.
Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
Sinner: A stupid person who gets found out.
Only the stupidest calves chose their own butcher.
Behind every successful man stands a surprised MIL.
There’s no such thing as gravity. The earth sucks.
Are we supposed to be having fun yet?
It was supposed to be so easy ………..
The eventual supremacy of reason should be accepted.
Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.
You always swat where he’s not, or if he is aha! a spot.
Good architecture takes on a life of its own.
He who talks too much commits a sin.
WARNING… drinking tap water may kill your thirst!
Hire a teenager while they still know it all.
Autobiography: Unrivalled telling truth about others.
Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever.
Yield to temptation; It may not pass your way again.
Pure drivel tends to drive away ordinary drivel.
No one test the depth of a river with both feet.
Often the test of courage is not to die but to live.
Th-th-th-that’s all, folks!
I think that I’m the friendliest guy in my zipcode.
I think that I’ll stand up-wind, if you don’t mind
Noble deeds that are concealed are most esteemed.
A pitcher that goes to a well too often is broken first.
Overestimation: Thinking that all your geese are swans.
Cats, proof that eating and sleeping isn’t all bad.
All sentences that seem true should be questioned.
Live so that the family parrot can live afterwards.
Who has the bread makes the laws.
GIVE: Support the helpless victims of computer error.
The greater the ignorance the greater the dogmatism.
Planned parenthood — the impossible dream.
Tact is the intelligence of the heart.
Worry is the interest paid on trouble in advance.
Sex isn’t the best nor the worst thing in the world.
Politics: Passing the buck or passing the doe.
RTFM - it’s the computer manuals I hate!
Bachelor: Plays the field until the field comes in.
I’m from the government. I’m here to help you.
God made the first garden, Cain the first city.
Dan Quayle: the EDLIN of Vice-Presidents.
Adam ate the apple, and our teeth still ache.
Gotta run, the cat’s caught in the printer.
Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
I like the 486 tower. Does it come in red?
Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it.
Adventure is the champagne of life.
Memoirs are the backstairs of history.
Wait! That’s the FORBIDDEN dance!
For many, the declension of life is: I go, you go, ego.
Society prepares the crime, the criminals commit them.
Architecture is the art of how to waste space.
Time is the dressmaker specializing in alterations.
Those whom the gods love grow young.
Many kiss the hand that they wish cut off.
Against stupidity, the Gods themselves, contend in vain !
Of all the people I have met, you are certainly one
Money is the sinews of both love and war.
Don’t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them.
Confirmation of the past is often the greatest surprise.
People are the only creatures with the power of laughter.
Is relativism the only absolute?
Beware of the opinion of someone without any facts.
Indecision is the only key to flexibility ….
America is the only country founded on a good idea.
Always remember the past, but make waves when it matters.
Doctrine is the skin of truth set up and stuffed.
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
Dew is the tears which the stars weep.
College: Guarantee the quality of the product or return.
Disease is the retribution of an outraged nature.
Wit is the spice of conversation, not the food.
The deeper the sorrow, the less tongue hath it.
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
Doubt is the root of education, not faith.
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Devoted to the study of cat bathing as a martial art.
Money is the root of all wealth *
Custom is the law of fools.
Prejudice is the reason of fools. Voltaire.
Sailors curse the rain that farmers prayed for in vain.
Leisure is the mother of philosophy.
Honey in the mouth and knives in the heart.
Today is the scene of the accident.
He is the most sensible looking man talking nonsense.
The longer the title, the less important the job.
Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats.
Man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
What is the world to a man when his wife is a widow?
What is the True meaning of DOS?
Memories keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.
Hypocrisy is the type of homage vice pays to virtue.
It’s better the world wonder why you AREN’T President.
With consequences, the unexpected always predominate.
Many possess the wisdom of many and only the wit of one.
A hangover the wrath of grapes
Seriousness is the very next step to being dull.
How dieth the wise man? As the fool.
Poker Face: The face that launched a thousand chips.
Adam’s Rib: The original bone of contention.
Army food: The spoils of war.
Artificial Intelligence: The other guy’s opinion.
Everyone meets their Waterloo at last.
Users: Keep them dry and don’t feed them after midnight.
That was then, this is now.
Latest conspiracy theory: Humpty Dumpty was pushed!!!
Why are there so many gnarly limbs on my family tree?
Without fools there would be no wisdom.
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
These Days There’s No Arrest For The Wicked
What fools these morals be!
Everyone as they loveth, some people kiss cows.
Blood is thicker than water, and much more tastier.
Envy is thin because it bites but never eats.
The worst thing about censorship is .
Echo: Only thing that cheats some out of the last word.
All humans things are subject to decay.
When all think alike, then no one is thinking.
Sorry, can’t think of an insult stupid enough for you
I’m a thinker, I think—stolen from Rusty Wallace.
Acting without thinking is like shooting without aiming.
When everyone thinks alike, then everyone is stupid.
Dan Quayle thinks that Cheerios are donut seeds.
An ass thinks one thing, his rider another.
Dan Quayle thinks that Cheerios are bagel seeds.
Of all thirty-six alternatives, running away is best.
To steal this tagline press <CTL> <ALT> <DEL> now.
What is this thing anyway? The Discordian Society?
Let’s win this one and go home. - George A. Custer
Pay attention! This is the mother of all taglines.
Where are those flashbacks they promised me?
Unless to thought is added will, Apollo is an imbecile.
Learning without thought is labor lost.
Suppress that thought!
there are three things that come next, uh four…
If you throw mud, you will have dirty hands.
Time takes time.
How many times do you need to be tolled anyway?
It’s easier to curse the candle than light the darkness.
Know when to fight and when to run.
It’s hard to believe it, but some teens are humans.
Seek not to follow footsteps but what they sought.
Women take to good hearted men. Also from.
It’s stupid to continue doing what doesn’t work.
Teaching: Appearing to have known your subject forever.
It’s okay to call someone stupid; just don’t prove it.
Being able to say NO is the root to reclaiming your life.
Man’s inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn.
Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
I used to read books. Now I read .qwk files.
I’d like to live like a poor person with lots of money.
I hate to repeat gossip, so I’ll only say this once
too stupid to know what I’m involved in.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Self-sacrifice: to sacrifice others without blushing.
I want to live with a synonym girl…
It’s OK to wear the same thing every day: a smile.
Travel important today; IRS men arrive tomorrow.
I am tolerant of your (fruitcake) beliefs
A hen tomorrow is more valuable than an egg today.
Don’t think too far beyond your next meal.
To be too clever is to be stupid.
I’ve got too many hands on my time!
If you’re too old to learn, you were born so.
He has too many lice to feel an itch.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
It’s a tragedy that no man become like their mothers.
It’s a tragedy that no man becomes like his mother.
MacIntosh:Computer with training wheels you can’t remove.
Birds are trapped by their feet, people by their tongues.
A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit.
Silly rabbit, tricks are for hookers!
Hollywood: A trip through a sewer in a glass bottom boat.
Beware of true believers you may be duped by a false god.
A little truth helps the lie go down.
All great truths began as blasphemies. G B Shaw
That’s right, try hard to be good at the game of life.
If you try to be too sharp, you will cut yourself.
Wanna giggle? Try (EDITOR=EDLIN !) in anything.
The Caldecott Tunnel has less traffic than that vagina.
We have two ears and one tongue, use them likewise.
It takes two to make a bargain.
Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.
Stupid: Being unable to find your own butt in the dark.
Better to understand little than misunderstand a lot.
Who would understand youth must know old age.
Originality is undetected plagiarism.
EXPERT - Some unknown drip under pressure.
Don’t give up the ship! Give up the captain.
Speed things up, make pre-aged wine from old raisins.
I give up..push me that hollow log!
I give up..push me that hollow log!
All those updates, and still imperfect!!!
Few of us can stand prosperity – someone else’s.
Genealogy: tracing us back to the same brother and sister
Some of us just die, others of us live on.
You may use this tagline 30 days before registering.
Resistance Is Useless! If you have no volts or amps.
Actions are usually right, but the reasons seldom are.
Be vewy, vewy quite…I’m hunting tagwines!
An accommodating vice is better than an obstinate virtue.
The only victory over love is flight. Napoleon
C’est la vie.
Art is vision not expression.
Raising your voice does not reinforce your argument.
A slap vs a slog is like a ribbon vs an obi.
Are you waiting for your prey?
Sometimes I wake up grumpy…other times I let her sleep.
If you want my advice, pay me!
if you want someone to keep a secret, keep it yourself.
You might want to get a band-aid for that..
If you want to hide your face, walk naked.
I don’t want it now, I want it RIGHT now!
As I was going up the stair, I met a man who wasn’t there
His face was filled with broken commandments.
Your sin, was it of omission, commission, or emission?
The best water doesn’t come in fancy bottles.
Flattery: Cologne water, to smell but not swallow.
The wrong way always seems the more reasonable.
The best way to save face is to keep the lower part I’m
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it
The only way to judge the future is by knowing the past.
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
The best way to save face: keeping the lower part shut.
The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut.
Where did we all come from in the first place?
By trying we can learn to endure another’s adversity.
Tips: Wages we pay other people’s hired help.
With foxes we must play the fox.
In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
Retreat hell! We’re just fighting in another direction.
Some are weather-wise, some are otherwise.
Smoking cures weight problems… eventually…
OK, I’m weird! But I’m saving up to become eccentric.
OK, I’m weird! But I’m saving up to be eccentric.
Whatever is well conceived can be well expressed.
To live well, know the difference between good and evil.
If I were here more often, I wouldn’t be gone so much.
Black holes were created when God divided by zero.
If this were an actual tagline, it might be funny.
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
If this were an actual tagline, it might be funny.
If I were you, who’d be me?
Camels have wet dreams too.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
Regardless of what you may think, this is NOT a tagline.
Be alert! What this world needs is more lerts.
Youthful figure: What you get when asking a woman’s age.
Yeah, but what’s the speed of DARK?
I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul.
Modesty died when false modesty was born. Mark Twain
Be careful when slinging mud, you might lose ground!
Nobody notices when things go right, and I’m noticed.
Nobody notices when things go right, I’m always noticed.
It is when you take for yourself that you truly take.
Middle age: When your age starts to show at your middle.
San Francisco: where NOBODY eats Rice-a-Roni!
Lunatic asylum: where optimism most flourishes.
Hospitals: Places where the run down wind up.
No matter where you go, there you are.
Friend: Anyone who has the same enemies you have.
Genius: One who can do anything except earn a living.
I am who I pretend to be
Criminal: One who gets caught.
Bigamist: One who makes the same mistake twice.
A hen who lays an egg cackles as if it was an asteroid.
Bring the whole family…but leave the kids at home!
Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.
Ever wonder why Oprah spelled backwards is Harpo?
Bigamy: One wife too many. Monogamy: Same idea…
A bigot will not reason, a fool cannot, a slave dare not.
One crow will not peck out another crow’s eyes.
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Have Stock? Will Broker…
The flogging WILL continue until the morale improves!
Anybody can win, unless there is a second entry.
When no wind blows, even the weather vane has character.
I use windows…on my car, on my house, but not on my…
;-) Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious remark.
The only winner of the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.
This fellow’s wise enough to play the fool.
A worthless wise man always charms the rabble.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a moose.
Difficult? I wish it had been impossible!
The mouse with a single hole is quickly caught by the cat
The trouble with a kitten is that, eventually it’s a cat.
Never agree with me, it shakes my self confidence.
Fountains mingle with the river, rivers with the ocean.
Never Argue With a Skunk, Mule, Woman or a SysOp.
A person without a navel lives within all of us.
Some men without a god are like fish without bicycles.
An actor without buck teeth can play the Easter Bunny.
A day without sunshine is like night.
A day without sunshine is like night.
The UARTs won’t take this speed, Captain.
Software independent: Won’t work with ANY software.
Synonym: A word you use when you can’t spell the other.
Once uttered, words run faster than the horses i bet on.
Your sweet words suck the morning dew off the honeysuckle
Words, words, words. And no place to put them all!
3 dreaded words: hard disk failure
No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard.
If it works, it must be obsolete..
Solution Series: Works for Windows, Publisher and Money
The living world is a continuum in each and every aspect.
What’s the world coming to when your monitor stares back.
In this world a man must either be anvil or hammer.
Surprise the world. Get to work on time today.
Attack long worms from the rear - that is so much safer!
Trust me, would I lie to you….. TWICE?
A well-written life is as rare as a well-spent one.
((wrong && wrong) != right)
I only wrote the thing, I don’t have to understand it!
- :-X User’s lips are sealed.
There’s a Yankee in my closet - will trade for skeleton
Boot & ye shall see. Replace & all will be made clear.
But, if ye wish her gratefu’ prayer, Gie her a haggis!
A leap year is never a good sheep year.
A leap year is never a good sheep year.
Please don’t yell at me. I’m new at this.
But once you are real, you can’t become unreal again.
Sir Lancelot, you have chain mail in Knight’s Conf
Do well, you hear it never. Do ill, hear it forever.
Remember…………….. Wherever you go, there you are.
Without fingers you cannot even thumb your nose.
Hey man, you can’t prove NUTHIN’. I was at home.
The more you run over a cat, the flatter is gets.
We hired you to baby sit. You cooked and ate them BOTH?
Drink! for you know not whence you came, nor why…
Drink! for you know not why you go, nor where..
Praise: What you receive when you are no longer alive.
Teamwork gives you someone else to blame.
Think and you won’t sink.
Psychic Con: You know where and when
Bomb #20, you’re out of the bomb bay again!
Always remember you’re unique - just like everyone else.
Blessed our young they will inherit our national debt.
Shake off your heavy trance! And leap into a dance.
Only in your dreams are you really free.
Put on your seatbelt. I’m gonna try something new.
Stick to your talent and the cows will be well tended.
Let’s see your tagline hunting permit, sir.
To keep your milk sweet, leave it in the cow.
Mister! Here’s your mule!
Don’t hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.
Look into yourself to discover your first priority.
Ivo Andric - Yugoslavia’s First Nobel Laureate.